Losing the weight was worth the adjustment. I chose to be healthy, and I had to be honest to get there.

When you are not honest with yourself, something just does not feel right. You may feel disconnected, frustrated, or apathetic, and you are not sure why. Maybe you avoid being honest about little things, hide from the reality of important matters, or maybe you even avoid the truth when your life depends on it. You may feel like you are just trying to get by, and wonder when life will be fun again. Inside you feel one way, but you ignore it, rationalize it away, or avoid accepting the truth. Figure out what is driving you to deny what is, get honest with yourself, and change your life today.

Here are four reasons we avoid being honest:

1. We resist being honest with ourselves because it hurts and seems overwhelming. These create defining moments when we must decide to conquer fear and trust God for strength to push through the pain and achieve the honesty we need.

When my eating disorder was draining me of strength and hope, I had to get honest with myself despite how painful or difficult it was to face my circumstances. Psalms 51:6 says “You desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part you will make me know wisdom.” and John 8:32 says “You will know the truth and the truth will make you free.” (NASB version of the Bible). I faced the truth and dealt with the pain of my past rather than continue to stuff it down and pretend it did not exist. I moved on, determined to succeed and to be defined by only the positive events in life. Now, I am 15 years free of that hold, and God reminds me to take care of myself as best I can. Now I live to be real, and to have what I feel be in line with my actions. If I have a chip on my shoulder about something, I deal with it, because that is a part of being honest. I need to be honest in both big and little things, no matter what.

When we are hurt, we naturally avoid dealing with the pain. Our bodies react to pain by sending a message to the nerve receptors to “numb out”. Eventually they adapt and we sense the pain, signaling it is time to fix the wound. We act this way emotionally too. We initially want to deny trauma or other events occur, but to grow and thrive, we need to face the pain at the right time and with the right help. Sometimes there are deep wounds that need healing. I have fought this battle, and no longer allow this pain to rule my life. It took time to process through, to understand I was not to blame, and to heal, but I did it, and you can too, whatever your hurt. A deeper cut needs more attention than a superficial scrape. Attend to your wounds. Be honest about where you are and move past your past.

2. We avoid the truth when we are embarrassed or ashamed of our mistakes, or misfortunes, and would rather pretend they do not exist. Without getting honest and taking responsibility for our goofs, whether tragic or just slightly embarrassing, we can allow even one event to steer our life off course. Big or small, we still need to face our circumstances.

One time in college I fell for a scam phone call that promised a free trip for just a nominal “shipping” fee. I delivered my money, with the promise my prize would arrive in the mail. When I later realized my mistake, I was so embarrassed. I was supposed to be smarter than that! I was convinced by the idea of something for nothing, and I allowed myself to see only what I wanted to see. It could have cost me my entire checking account balance, but I swallowed my pride and went to the bank. I stopped payment on the check in time, and the bank said I was lucky it was not too late, because this scam robbed so many of so much. I saw the looks of the bank officials as they saw another young lady duped. I almost did not go to the bank. I rationalized why I should not worry about it and that it was too late anyway, but I felt God tugging at my spirit and my conscious would not stop bothering me until I acted. I am so glad I did fix it, embarrassment and all. In this trivial life lesson, I learned to be more guarded with my trust.

3. We resist being honest because of what the truth says about us, and the fear it changes who we are. You are not your fears, but you define yourself by them when you give in to the lies trying to beat you down. Are you replaying an event over and over again in your mind? Stop it. Process the pain yourself, or go to a friend or counselor to get it out, but find a way to move on. If you are stuck in a loop you will keep going around in circles and miss the beauty of the terrain up ahead. Get back on track for your life journey.

When you think about who you are, if you find yourself too harsh, maybe you are not being honest with yourself about your abilities, your inner strength, and your endearing qualities. Do you treat yourself like dirt? Stop it. You are valuable, and you have something to offer the world. Find out who you are, be proud of your skills, and hold your head high. Being honest is not just about the challenges. You need to be honest about your strengths, too!

4. We resist being honest because it means we have to change, and with change comes sacrifice.

There is always a fix. Many times things will not be as they were, but there are often actions you can take, and things you can do to change the effects of an action, to forgive, to restore yourself, to heal. Find a way to be more honest and embrace the change it brings.

Be honest with your finances. Are you really cutting back when needed, or are you just stressed because you do not want to change the lifestyle you desire? Finances strain relationships, and how you spend your money shows what you value. Be honest with yourself and be aware of your choices.

Be honest with your relationships. Are you treating others right, and are you treated right? Where there is pain, get healing. Where there is tension, fight your way back to peace. Start by investing your time.

Be honest about your habits. Are you managing stress or robbing your life of precious years with self-destruction? Are you acting on life as it comes, responding to change, and adapting to accomplish your goals? Get honest, get hope, and change today. You can do it!

Be honest about your priorities. Your life affects others. You have something to offer, so seize it and work for it every day. Do your actions reflect your true priorities, or are you aimlessly wandering through life? Are you blaming others or your past for your inaction today? Get focused, get ready, and take action today.

Ginny’s courage fighting her illness taught me to look for the positive despite good or bad times, to fight for what is important, and to be honest with myself. Being honest is rewarding, healing, and energizing. Think of a time when you were honest with yourself and faced the difficult or uncomfortable. How can you be more honest with yourself now? Create a better you today. You can do it!

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks…” Brian Tracy

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?” William A. Ward

“When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them.” Chinese Proverb

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” John F. Kennedy

Why should you have a good attitude, a positive mindset, in the form of an attitude of gratitude? The most altruistic reasons are for the betterment of humankind. Saying thank you helps others feel good. Another reason to develop an attitude of gratitude is that positive people attract each other. If you are a complainer, you can easily find others to “validate you” in your misery. But consider if you are seeking out those who agree and alienating those who do not. If you display a positive outlook, you will attract positive people. Positive and successful attitudes include at their core appreciation and gratitude. Develop yours.

One further reason is that research shows it is beneficial to your health (Mcollough, Emmons 2003). In this study, one participant group recorded a diary of daily events, another group wrote down unpleasant experiences, and the third group wrote down a daily record listing things for which they were grateful. The gratitude group was more likely to help others, exercise, and complete personal goals, while reporting more determination, optimism, alertness, energy, and enthusiasm. It is interesting to note that this study also found people who take time to deliberately record their gratitude were more likely to feel loved, and found more kindness reciprocated to them as they sent out an increase of kindness from their attitude.  Also, grateful people were grateful regardless of whether special events happened in their day or not.  In other words, they did not just have moments of gratefulness, but grateful attitudes.

“Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.” Phil. 4:6 In this scripture, I believe we are shown this health effect. God does not just say “do not worry”, but gives a road map. Pray (give it to God and gain perspective), petition (count your blessings: list your needs so you feel heard), and give thanks (show an attitude of gratitude, in word or deed!).

“Just do it!”, made popular by a Nike shoes television commercial, is a great motivating slogan- but it is more complicated than that.. Make a head decision to be a positive and grateful person, to just do it. But then, take the necessary steps to get your emotions in line with your mind, so you can be authentically grateful. If you are only faking it, it will show. Have you ever wondered why you may have given a bad first impression to someone? Maybe you know they did not see the real you? Consider if it was your attitude. Even when you try to hide it, like a strong odor (or a beautiful fragrance), it seeps through in even the shortest of conversations.

For example, I know several who consider the speed-dating concept a great way to narrow down the possibilities. This is where you sit and talk with someone for usually just 5 minutes, and then a new person rotates in to talk with you. After everyone has met, each can decide who to get to know further. While it is impossible to know everything about someone in such a short period of time, it is easy to get a general idea of their attitude on life, and to judge whether you share a similar life philosophy or outlook. Notice I said judge, because people glean first impressions all the time. Is the impression you are imparting representative of the true you? Whether you know it or not, your attitude shows. So make yours a pleasant one.

Here is how to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

1. Get perspective. Have you ever done much traveling? When you fly in an airplane and watch the ascent, you see how little your town really looks from above the clouds. For the nervous or new flyer, the worries of everyday life can melt away as the mind focuses on whether the flight will arrive without incident. After the landing, even the grumpiest individuals are often filled with gratitude for safety. It is all in perspective. You can choose to focus on what you do not have, or make a conscious effort to notice what you do have. If you cannot see it, get a new view.

“True thanksgiving means that we need to thank God for what He has done for us, and not to tell Him what we have done for Him.” George R. Hendrick

I remember one Thanksgiving holiday when I was single and living alone in a new state. I helped serve meals to the homeless, and then returned to my apartment for the evening. I was used to a traditional celebration, which includes family and all the fixings. But not that year. In fact, I had forgotten to go to the grocery store so I planned on either eating out or shopping last minute for a dinner. The roads were too icy to drive a great distance, and living in a small town, I suddenly discovered every place was closed. I was glad they were all with their families, but the best I could do, due to my poor planning, was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I started to feel sorry for myself, but immediately remembered my determined stance. I turned it around, and felt thankfulness at my deepest core. I changed my perspective and realized that I needed to give thanks. I gave thanks to God for my dreams, hopes, and my overcoming attitude. I was thankful that I could afford a roof over my head, being sheltered from the cold. I was thankful for my memories of a warm traditional Thanksgiving, and for His peace that someday I would create that with my own family. I was thankful, most of all, for personal growth. I was still in pain, but I was healing. And I was grateful.

2. Count your blessings. Name them, list them, draw them, but count them. To truly feel gratitude as part of a lifestyle of a grateful heart, you have to acknowledge your blessings. “The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.” Eric Hoffer

A note for those healing from sudden tragedy or trauma. There is a grief process, and as it says in Ecclesiastes, there is a time for everything. You need time to get over the shock and sadness, but do not let yourself get stuck in it. If a marathon runner were suddenly shot and bleeding from a life-threatening wound, would you talk at him and tell him just to smile and run faster? No, you would get him to a hospital to heal. He is still a great runner. You can develop an attitude of gratitude, and be truly grateful inside. But if you need a moment to heal, it is okay, you will run again later (and people will once again see your positive outlook that is temporarily obscured). Let God comfort you as you heal.

3. Give thanks- show your attitude in word or deed. “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” William A. Ward

Recognizing the efforts of others helps them feel appreciated. It is interesting that we should want to help those we cherish the most feel the best, but in reality the reverse often happens. Many times, we neglect to thank those closest to us (especially when we see their actions as part of an expected role). Instead, we remember to thank casual acquaintances we see while running errands. Both are important. Give thanks to those who make your life easier during the day, but also express your gratitude to those you care about the most. I make it a point to thank my husband for doing things around the house, because I want him to know I appreciate him. I thank my children for being kind to each other and I notice that positive reinforcement is the greatest motivator, and a great example to them. I look for ways to share my gratitude, so here is one now:

I want to thank God for how my life has changed, and for showing me how to live happy, healthy, successful, and free. I also thank my husband and my three beautiful children, who mean the world to me, and continue to teach me about life and love. Finally, thank you to my friends, and to my readers, who encourage me, and allow me to fulfill my purpose and share my positive motivations to help create a better you.

Thankfully yours,

Patricia

I am pleased to announce that comments are now on. I originally kept them off due to spam concerns, but for now, I think the community that comments bring is worth the risk. I have received so many insightful responses and questions through emails and trackbacks since the inception of this blog, and I would love for all readers to see some of the dialog that goes on about each post. So, comments are now on. Please share your insights on any post that moved you, expand on my thoughts, or just contribute your feedback. I look forward to hearing even more from you all.

Thank you again for your commentary, and I hope you leave here a better you.

Patricia

I use an automated service so your email is secure, and you can easily unsubscribe at any time. The newsletter will be sent out approximately monthly, and will begin after a subscribing base is established.

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Patricia

By choosing to act in alignment with your core self and follow what path you have chosen, you are already making changes. You may not be who you will become, but you are not who you once were. So who are you becoming today? If you find your identity in others, your self-esteem and sense of worth will be dependent on their choices and leadings. If instead you recognize that you are an original, then act like it.

To construct a masterpiece work of art, there are defining lines and shadows. Without the contrast, the beauty and starkness of the image is lost. Contrast allows for the vivid colors to stand out as beautiful as the designer intended. Dark shadows, like hard times, can color a portion of our journey. Will you allow your dark shadows to define you, or will you rise above and make the statement you were intended to contribute to the world? You have a vivid, brilliant image to create, so do not get stuck filling your canvas with shadows and miss the masterpiece waiting to emerge from them. Decide today to move beyond your circumstances.

The other day my 15-month-old baby was walking and fell by our brick fireplace. She split her lip and it was bleeding. I think her tears hurt me more than her, because I rushed to comfort her and tell her it would be okay. As I held her, I reassured her that it would be “all better” soon. Suddenly she jumped up as if everything was fine, and took off running past the fireplace to play. I remember thinking, why can’t we do that in life? Get comfort, take courage, then try again. Instead, we are often like my in-law’s dog was around pools. Once as a younger puppy she had fallen into the pool during winter, and the cold water scared her (she was immediately rescued). For the rest of her years, she was hesitant around the pool, and refused to even consider getting in again. How do you handle life? Do you structure your identity around hurts or blows, or do you move on despite your past? You are not defined by what happens to you, but by how you respond to the happenings of life.

If your life were an open book, would people care to read it? Does your belief system sway with the wind? Are you manipulated by motivational speeches from fast-talkers with empty, shallow promises that do not deliver (but often cost you money)? Do you think your identity depends solely on your career or other accolades? Does your life’s journey need a compass and a map, or do you know where you are and where you are headed? Are you confident in who you are? Here is how to determine your identity:

This exercise requires you to be honest. If you are answering what others want to hear, you will not be seeing yourself, but a superficial image you project. Be real with yourself as you do this and you will discover the richness of your existence! It is that simple, but it is not easy. It requires the courage to be honest, and recognize you will find areas for change. Get out a paper and writing implement, and be ready to write (a computer will do, but writing by hand can trigger more creativity).

1. Beliefs: What are your beliefs? Begin writing down the first thing that you think about, and continue to write on each of these belief system components until you feel your answer is complete (or force yourself to stop at 5 minutes for this first round, and to address each part with at least a few sentences). Think about what drives your moral compass, brings you strength, what values contribute to your sense of worth and your life philosophy. Here are the three components:

beliefs about God and your spiritual life
beliefs about yourself: what messages you send mentally, physically, and emotionally
beliefs about life: how you fit into the world (your purpose), attitude, outlook, and what character traits you value

2. Personality: What traits are contained in your unique and special personality? Take 5 minutes to find and record descriptive words about yours. I have included a handy way to answer this in less than 5 minutes. God designed us all differently. Can you imagine if everyone wanted to be in charge of little details, and there were no people to see the big picture? What if everyone was a great listener, but nobody could think of anything to say? Your personality is filled with a unique combination of traits that can be used for bettering yourself and others, or for tearing yourself and others down. A person gifted in organization, for example, can choose to be domineering and manipulative, or can choose to better others with encouragement as they see the big picture and help complete projects.

Knowing your personality and giftings can help you understand areas for change, and can help you feel proud of who God made you to be. If you have never taken a personality profile test, they can be fun to try, so why not do one now? Remember, be honest. Here is a link to one I found via a google search. It is free, easy to do, and gives quick results (it took me about two minutes to answer). Give it a try! When you return, I will share my results with you too (and we will get to the most important part of this exercise!). If anyone would like to suggest another test, I am happy to review it and add it to this list (there are also excellent personality profiles tests in print). http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

Are you back? What did you find out? Do you see yourself described in the results? You may only identify with part of the description, or you may feel you are more of a combination of two descriptions. If you are puzzled by the results, did you answer the questions honestly, or did you answer as you thought you should (rather than how you really feel)? Select the words that best describe your personality and write them down.

If anyone is curious, I scored as INFJ, and I especially liked the description by Butt and Hess (linked on the results page). It is amazing when you see parts of you described! Now, while some personality-types are eager to analyze and assess their strengths and qualities, there are other personalities that see it as a waste of time, or that hate to be labeled and “put into a box”. I suspect if that is you, you skipped the test and continued to read- am I right? No problem, you have only proven my point. People have different personalities, and this diversity is what makes life interesting.

3. Actions: Take 5 minutes to list how this identity manifests itself in actions by recording your:

priorities, interests, hobbies, talents, and giftings
influence and initiative
coping skills/ how you manage adversity
accomplishments and goals
relationships

The most important finishing touch on your identity will use up the last 5 minutes: now that you have figured out who you are, create who you want to be by making changes immediately. Look at the results. Your beliefs, your personality, and your resulting actions all merge together as pieces of your puzzle. This is how you perceive yourself, which in turn, determines how you portray yourself. Consider what you wrote that is negative. Are your messages about yourself, for example, truly who you are, or are they a product of allowing external circumstances or events to darken your internal perception? One quick way to do this is to mark those you can change with a star (or colored pen), and those you cannot change with a different symbol or color. The ones you can change are often accurate, and the ones you cannot change are often negative messages you have internalized that are not who you truly are. Do not believe lies propagated on you because of trauma or hardship. See who you really want to be, and become that person today.

Now comes the most important step: take the negative messages you can change and re-write them as positive. Instead of writing you are a “victim”, be a “survivor”. Change “miserable alcoholic” to “recovering alcoholic with one day of triumphant sobriety”. Rather than “hot-tempered”, be a “person of strong convictions who no longer takes out anger on others or yourself”. Instead of “a failure in business”, be a “successful entrepreneur, with some failed startups that are teaching you as you improve your business plan”. Change “lonely and alone” to someone “determined to face fear, meet new people, knowing you have a lot to contribute to a relationship” (pick a social group that aligns with your beliefs and get involved today). Instead of “stupid” (a message you tell yourself because of others’ opinion, perhaps?), say “I may not have the best grades, but if they gave out grades I would get an A+ in ____”. Instead of “I’m ugly”, record what is beautiful about you.

This is an initial picture of you. To go deeper, repeat this exercise. Do this process again and again until you feel proud of your big picture. In an instant, with determination to change, you have changed yourself. “As a man thinketh, so is he” Proverbs 23:7. Change your perception and your reality changes. Tell yourself you are hopeless and you feel hopeless. Tell yourself you can do it, and you will. Be optimistic! Phil. 4:8-9. God says to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” Romans 12:2, so figure out what messages are in your mind through this exercise, and change the negative thoughts to positive today.

You may leave your results in sentence or list form, rewrite it into a poem, create a collage of words (like a tag cloud of your life) or images to represent you, or even create an audio or video recording as a keepsake for loved ones to cherish. Be proud of who you are, and if you are not, then become who you can be proud of, and do it today.

I am a fighter. I have made it through significant trauma in childhood, I have overcome a life-threatening eating disorder, and I have changed how I perceive the world and myself to live confident in who I am and why I am here. My canvas is covered with beautiful vibrant colors, and an emerging pattern that I can only describe as uniquely me. The shadows and lines give it focus as accents (but do not dominate the image), and I am better for them. I welcome each new stroke whether dark or light, as I face the world from my life philosophy. I know God is my guiding compass, and the Bible is my map. In knowing who I am, I also know what I need to change, and I keep my eye on the prize. I strive to be more like God everyday, helping others when opportunities arise, and staying sure in God’s love for me so I have love to give. What about you? Are you confident in who you are? Get to know yourself again, and find ways to become a better you.

Patricia

I am generally a safe driver, and near-misses do not occur very often at all. Today I have had three of them. I considered these questions: am I extremely distracted for some reason? Am I being careless? Could I have prevented them? I am definitely neither careless nor distracted today, and while I am certainly not perfect, today I did not contribute to the events in question. So now that I realize the sequence of strange happenings on this day, I consider them. I believe coincidence is an excuse to dismiss occurrences we do not understand. When mysterious events transpire, it is often God’s way of getting our attention. And I am listening.

My soul is stirred within, restless to discover the message. What are You telling me tonight, God?

Immediately after the third (and worst) “almost” car accident, I remembered a real accident where as a teenager I stopped in time to avoid a speeding car killing our passengers, but still crashed. I was driving to church on a Sunday morning (ironically), and it was a lesson in how fragile life really is (one every teenager needs to realize).

Tonight as I arrived home, I hugged my husband, my 5-year-old son, and my 14-month-old baby. I had only been gone an hour, but it seemed like eternity. My baby had been crying for me, walking around the house saying “mama”, and finally cried herself to sleep in my husband’s arms. Now I held her, and said “don’t you know that mommy always comes back?” My husband replied “except almost not tonight.” I closed my eyes and said a thankful prayer. He was right.

It happens everyday. People do not make it home. But more people make it home everyday than do not. If we focus on what tragedy might happen, we are stuck in negativity and frozen in fear. If we take these reminders as blessings, we squeeze more out of every minute and taste how good life can really be. You only live once, you only have this moment, so make it the best moment possible. This is not an excuse to fail to plan. To succeed, you must use this moment to propel you towards your future achievements, while simultaneously enjoying the journey of your life’s travels. Enjoy life as if this were your last minute, and as if you had an infinite supply of last minutes.

I love being with my children, and we joke that our littlest one is an extension of my hip since she loves to be held or carried. I am always glad she is there, but I take it for granted. Tonight when I arrived home, holding my baby was as amazing as it was when she was first born, struggling for her very breath as we prayed for her survival. My husband says she is a fighter: had to fight to come into the world, and will fight her way through it. I am grateful for every moment I get to watch of her life as she overcomes every obstacle.

“Carpe diem” (from a Latin poem by Horace, meaning “seize the day”). “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may” (from poet Robert Herrick). I think the most profound lesson God is teaching me right now is to try what I am not trying, to seize the day in new ways. I can think of three specifics to begin tomorrow, and I wonder what else will come to mind as I keep myself open to new possibilities. What about you? Are there ways for you to make more out of your minutes? Remember life is precious, so live it.

Patricia

Before recovery, I worked hard to hide my struggles, because I did not want to admit there was anything wrong. I was hurting, but I never let it show. I was a successful overachiever, friendly, outgoing, a hospital volunteer, and a straight-A student. My public life was thriving, but in private, I was deteriorating rapidly. As my eating disorder progressed, so did my physical symptoms, and I felt my body grow weaker. But I was determined to make it. I knew of no other way to cope. I was crying out for attention, abusing my body, forcing my train up a hill on a path leading to a brick wall. If nothing had changed my course, my life would have ended. But God showed me a way out, and I realized that my bulimia (and anorexic behavior) was putting my life in danger. I got help, and my life has never been the same.

Our society encourages using food as entertainment, comfort, and consolation. This programming begins early. We are trained to “pig out” for fun or fellowship, skip meals to demonstrate self-control, and eat fast food fast. It is easy to take these messages to the extreme. In my pain and low self-image, I quickly learned to measure my success or failure in life against my ability to deprive my body of its desire for food. I hated my body because of past trauma, and I felt I could never be good enough in anyone’s eyes. For me, food reinforced that hatred. I grew up in church and always believed in keeping my body healthy, so I never drank alcohol, smoked, or did drugs. In my eating disorder, I never took laxatives, diet pills, or any other substance, believing that meant I did not have a real problem. My use of food, however, was still extremely destructive. It is interesting that many Christians, and anyone else who tries to avoid unhealthy practices, often use food in the same way as any other vice. Food becomes comfort, when it really is designed to be sustenance.

Temporarily, food comforts as it masks your pain. During the awkward teenage years, that are already difficult for anyone, I was living with no way to deal with my circumstances and feelings of worthlessness from my trauma. All I could do was stuff them down, way down. Obsession with diets and food happened naturally, and soon became how I coped. I was a skinny girl, but I felt huge. Rather than deal with what was really bothering me at a given moment, I could focus on how fat I felt, how awful I was for eating anything, or how strong I was for skipping a meal. My eating disorder became my coping mechanism, but rather than helping me through life’s difficulties, it was burying me deeper. I am grateful to it, however, not for what it was, but for who I am after emerging from it.

I am grateful that it happened because I needed a way out and I found it. I am grateful because I am a stronger person for having beaten it. I am grateful because it forced me to realize that I can rationalize almost anything and that does not make it true. No matter how much I wanted to think I was in control, I was not. No matter how much I thought I could handle food, I could not. I had to get help to stop it, and it changed my life. For over fourteen years I have followed an eating plan, maintained a healthy weight for my size 6 frame, and enjoyed exercise in moderation. My plan includes three meals and one snack a day, and no refined sugar. I now live a balanced life. I no longer think about food until it is time to eat, and I no longer beat myself up over what I eat. I know how to eat healthy and I choose to do so to live my best life, free of addictive behavior. I have no problem eating in front of anyone, regardless of their opinions about what I eat. I eat to live, not live to eat. I have learned to enjoy what life has to offer, and I eat nutritiously so that I have the most energy to face the day. I love my body, I love who I am (imperfections and all), and I love seeing my children feel confident about themselves as I demonstrate this healthy attitude. I know the warning signs to watch out for, and I keep myself accountable to those closest to me so I stay healthy and free. And I stay on my plan, determined to keep food in its proper place, no matter what. I do not believe relapse has to be a part of recovery, not if you believe you are worth what waits for you on this side of freedom. This is what recovery looks like: when that which once controlled you no longer holds power over your life.

I used to live as Paul described in Romans 7:19 in the Bible: “…the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.” Before eating disorder recovery, I would wake up thinking today would be different, but it never was. I broke promises to myself all the time. While we all must remember the “Golden Rule” (do to others as you would have them do to you), the people-pleaser in me needed to learn the reverse: treat myself as good as I treat others (keep promises I make to myself, or do not make them at all). To effect real change, I had to realize that I deserved better treatment, and it started with how I treated myself. I determined to act as if I believed God still had hope for me, and in time, I learned it was true. I had to make a decision to trust God for help, and then to go get the help. I am grateful to those who encouraged me in recovery and who helped me face life with courage and learn to manage stress differently. Now my deepest desire is to help others have the strength and determination to live happy, healthy, successful, and truly free.

What do you turn to when crisis hits? What do you do with your emotions when faced with life’s storms? Do you have any habits, addictions, or patterns of behavior that are somehow robbing you of your best life? Are you taking away years of your future, destroying your present, running from your past? There is no easy instant fix. You can stop the destructive behavior, but you must process the festering mess underneath trying to take you back to it. You can do it. Get past your past, and stay in the present. You really can break this cycle and be free. “Crisis is what brings you closer to the place where your heart is pointed.” (Rev. G. Gregg). If you are not anchored in and pointed somewhere, you could be headed into a brick wall. Plot your course or it will be plotted for you. Live courageously and face your fear today. Break free. It truly is life-changing, and will lead you to a better you.

Patricia

It seems paradoxical but it is nevertheless true: you must dream beyond the imaginable to achieve success beyond the attainable. Are your visions of the future confined in a suffocating box of limitations? What is holding you back? How are you preventing yourself from success? Dream your dreams today.

Success requires initiative. If you act in business as your elementary teacher trained you, you will never advance. Were you taught to sit quietly when you do your work, only speak when spoken to, respond with expected answers, follow exact instructions without adding any creativity, and let others plan the lessons? To succeed in your personal and professional life, get up and move, be creative, take initiative, suggest new ideas, surprise yourself and others, design your own life, and envision the big plan.

In archery, there are four main components to success: have the tools (bow, arrow, strength), know your target, focus your aim, and shoot. Achieving your goals is like that.

1. Tools: Many inhibit their achievement by convincing themselves that they will never have the skills (tools) to accomplish their dreams. As a doctoral candidate, completing my dissertation for the Ph.D. degree, I can tell you a secret of education at this level: learn how to learn. After absorbing knowledge from others (professors, etc.), teach yourself whatever else you must know. All the courses I have taken have prepared me now to continue learning by self-educating. I have learned how to learn. You can too, even without the degree. If you lack a skill to accomplish your goal, if you do not know it yet, or cannot do it yet, you can learn it! You CAN do it!

2. Target: Know your goal: what are you aiming to achieve? Take your dream to the next level by writing it down on paper, and then adding details until it becomes not just a hope but a plan.

3. Aim well: Remember to keep focused. Just as in archery, where your eye gaze affects how well you shoot, if you take your eye off your goal, your aim will follow. In addition, compensate for gravity and aim high. While a short trajectory can aim straight on, a long-term goal (or more distant target) requires you to adjust your aim as you shoot.

4. Shoot: This is so simple, but most goals are never accomplished primarily because of a lack of action. Take action today. Have a determined stance to achieve greatness and give to the world an inspiration that was designed to come from you alone. God gave you a purpose in life, find it and create your own success.

With the tools for the job and the target in sight, you take aim and soar to your future. Dream big, clarify your goal, aim high, and act, and you will hit the target you know will fulfill your life’s purpose. Remember, even by dreaming your dreams, or preparing and gaining the tools, you are succeeding in your goal, because you are moving forward towards the target.

“You measure the size of the accomplishment by the obstacles you had to overcome to achieve your goals” -Booker T. Washington.

“Shoot for the moon.? Even if you miss, you will land amongst the stars” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Dream your dreams today: they are the secret to your success and the mechanism by which you inspire others. As you DREAM, you get hope; as you HOPE, you aspire; as you ASPIRE, take aim; as you AIM, act; as you ACT, you SUCCEED; in success, you INSPIRE.

Patricia

My strategy is, rather than spend money on marketing and advertising, to post well-written, honest, and life-affirming content regularly, and this blog is spreading naturally from person to person. I am excited about its growth (see details in this updated post)!

While I want to share my stories and encouragements to everyone possible and reach as many visitors as I can, the quality of the articles and posts will always be more important than the frequency of posting. I will try to have a complete article post about every week, but some take longer to be complete: I will write them until they are what needs to be said. In between these longer articles, I will start posting some shorter “thoughts of inspiration”, for timeless encouragement and motivation for every reader. Check back often for these “you can do it!” posts. I also plan to add an email newsletter in the near future, so stay tuned!

I welcome feedback, suggestions, or a wish list of topics you would like to see me address, letting me know how I can better help you along your journey. Remember- you were designed for greatness! Napoleon Hill was right when he said: Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, he can achieve. For success, THINK IT, BELIEVE IT, and you will ACHIEVE IT!

Thank you for reading, browse a while, and I hope you leave here a better you.

Patricia

Happiness is not unattainable nor is it impossible: you truly can be happy. It is not selfish to desire to be happy. If you live to help others, to give of yourself, you need to have motivation, energy, and a zeal for life to spread as you give back to the world. Happiness will be a wellspring of enthusiasm from which you can continue your journey, excited about every moment. These practical steps to happiness in each of your four compartments can help speed you along. You will have a sense of calm in the midst of the storms of life, and you can be happy with yourself and be real, both inside and out.

Your life is a train ride, and happiness will come when the train is moving freely and effectively. When one compartment is weighed down by excess baggage, it slows down the whole train. You may be partly happy, or somewhat satisfied with life, but there could be so much more! Are you functioning at optimum speed, or are there areas of your being that could be happier? Do you feel fulfilled, confident, and excited to start each day? If the brakes are pulled on one compartment, or if the wheels stop turning altogether, the train will go slower, and will not be able to make it up the hills of life. Without momentum, it stops. Like The Little Train That Could, determined to make it and affirming himself with “I think I can, I think I can” until he did it, you need to know you CAN do it! You can face life and travel your journey successful and happy. Do it today!

I used to be so deeply unhappy. There were moments of laughter, moments that made me smile, and I maintained an overall pleasant countenance to those around me. But deep in my core I was restless, frustrated, and losing hope for any kind of true joy in life. I knew that I had a purpose for living and that God had plans for me to accomplish my purpose, but I felt inadequate and insecure about who I was and how I could help other people. On the outside I appeared successful and happy. I was earning straight A’s in my classes, volunteering at a hospital, and living as a people-pleaser, sacrificing any of my desires to try desperately to fulfill the expectations of others, and chastising myself when I fell short of my perfectionist expectations. I was distraught, traumatized, and insecure. I was flooring it on empty. I thought I had it all under control, but my life’s journey was severely out of balance, and its train ride was slowly being derailed.

My eating disorder was getting more serious everyday, but I did not know how to stop. It was my coping mechanism for life’s ups and downs, and I did not know how to replace it with healthy living. I had built up hurt and baggage from years of pain, and it was weighing me down. When alone with myself, the disquiet of my spirit showed me I had to change. I so desperately wanted to be at peace, truly happy, feeling satisfaction and fulfilling God’s purpose for my life.

I realized that my hopes and dreams would never be fulfilled on the self-destructive path that I was taking. One day, I woke up, saw the beautiful sun shining, felt God giving me strength, and took charge of my out-of-control train of a life: I got back on track. For the first time, I trusted my own inner voice and listened to what I felt God was telling me: get help, get it now, and get better. Start to live. You can do it! The decision to not only survive but to overcome was a monumental one because it was the start of a journey to wholeness and health, to reframing how I see the world, and to loving each moment of this precious life God has given me.

Today I am genuinely happy. I am free like never before. There are moments of sorrow, and difficult times are a part of life, but at my core, I am truly excited about life and happy to experience all of it, finding joy in everything possible. I make an effort to laugh everyday, to take pleasure in the tiniest things on my journey, and I work to not miss the precious moments of joy that happen along the way. Over fourteen years ago I changed my life, and I live happy and on track- and my happiness increases as I continue to learn how to enjoy the process and the journey. You can too! Focusing on these four components to your being will provide you a practical guide to explore where you are happy, ways your happiness is being hindered, and how to easily gain momentum and instantly experience a better and happier you.

Component #1: Mental- Follow your purpose and find your place

Your brain is intricately designed, and is like no other product I can think of: the more you use it, the more it improves, and the less you use it, the more it deteriorates. This epitomizes the expression use it or lose it. Your intellect is yearning to be challenged, to create, and to contribute your talents to the world. Happiness is often out of reach when this compartment is suppressed or denied. Are you yearning to curl up with a good book? Make time. Do you dream of attending school or learning a new trade? Start now. Do you want to start your own business, or change careers? Why wait- the world is waiting for you. Are you aching to learn how to heal from your past, to learn the keys to a better future, and to achieve the greatness you are called to make happen? Then gain speed and momentum today, and boost your journey forward. You can do it!

True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.-Helen Keller

Happiness will not be found in fleeting accolades, but in accomplishing what fulfills your true life’s purpose. Are you setting goals, both short term and long term? Do you dream your dreams, and imagine the future you desire, or do you suppress your natural desire for imagination and creativity and focus mostly on your frustrations over a monotonous area of your life? Even if your current daily activities are tedious, can you see the big picture? This can motivate you to complete your task, no matter how small, and press on for the goal, no matter how big.

If there is no big picture, then find one and make every moment count. I remember working in a lab during college and having to record hours of data which required repetitive actions. The work was interesting to me but it was tiring. I persevered, partly because I was interested in the final results, and mostly because I knew it was temporary and would yield course credit. Now, years later as I am writing my dissertation to earn a Ph.D., I am faced with analyzing hours of data yet again. This time the big picture is extremely gratifying, as I am motivated and eager to see the final results, to complete my degree, and to contribute to the professional world with my conclusions. Train your brain to exemplify the qualities of character that you aspire to hold.

Historians and Biblical scholars agree that Jesus spent about thirty years of life preparing for a comparatively short time of ministry (from one to twelve years of recorded ministry, depending on who you ask).We can learn a lesson from his journey. Train, prepare, plan, envision your future, and then do it. Are you genuinely stuck in a rut and needing to return your train to its tracks, are you on the right path but forgetting why you are going there, or are you chugging along at a slow pace and needing a boost of energy? Mental happiness is found when you have a purpose for your journey, you know where you are headed, and you are taking steps forward while facing the challenges each moment of the journey brings.

With discipline and determination you can teach yourself patience, endurance, focus, and commitment. Align your actions with your priorities and stay true to the real you. Make a conscious choice to affirm yourself and your abilities, rather than berate yourself for mistakes. Remember that most every great invention or success story occurred after repeated attempts and failures. The only way to succeed is to keep trying until you get it right. If you give up, you will never get there. Hang on, pull up, and get moving towards your goals. Your brain is a remarkable device just waiting to assist you on your journey. Use it or lose it. Have you heard the saying that success is ten percent inspiration, and ninety percent perspiration? This means it takes effort, and achievement will bring great joy.

Component #2: Physical- Be nice to your body

One day I heard someone say to listen to my body. It brought an amazing revelation to my view of life: your body lets you know when it is happy! Are you robbing your body of happiness because you neglect or ignore its messages? Your body is crying out to you- do you know what it is saying? If you have intestinal difficulties, do you sit in one place all day? If you wake up feeling “blah”, did you load up on starchy carbohydrates right before bed the night before? If you find yourself slow to get started in the morning, do you have a regular sleep pattern? Your nerve endings are designed to trigger pain to tell you something. In this world of instant medication we often forget to discover the reason behind our suffering, pain, or exhaustion. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you living an active lifestyle? Do you eat foods that give you energy or drag you down? Do you take care of yourself and get regular checkups from your doctor?

Two main keys to a happy body:

1. Live an active lifestyle. Remember when airlines used to allow certain pets onboard trapped in a small cage and stowed under your seat? Well, they did. The poor dears were stuck so tightly they could not even turn around. Are you a couch potato, confining your poor body like a caged animal on a cross-country flight, hoping for the moment the door is opened? Every pet owner knows the thrill of letting their sweet animal free to run in a park. Won’t you extend at least the same courtesy to yourself?

You were designed to roam free, and your body aches for movement. Doctors will tell you that exercise and activity provide phenomenal benefits to you: increase your metabolism, lower blood pressure, reduce stress and tension, elevate your mood, and help improve your sex life. Are you used to a sedentary lifestyle? Start small and you will notice quick improvements: even walking 20 minutes a day will lead to weight loss and an overall improvement in your feeling well. Whether you walk at the mall, go jogging in the park, play a sport, or work out at a gym, get moving!

Exercise through your adversity. President John F. Kennedy lived a life of extreme back pain. Despite numerous life-threatening back surgeries, he suffered immensely. With the help of Dr. Hans Kraus and a regular exercise regimen, he fought through his pain and improved his quality of life to where he could lift up his boy for the first time, and once again swing a golf club. The doctor’s papers reveal that exercise played a huge role in his physical successes, and if his life had not been cut short, may have championed a national exercise campaign. Set a goal today to push past your excuses and get some extra exercise- commit to be nicer to your body today!

Unless a doctor prohibits it, you were made for physical activity. Once in elementary school my teacher wanted us to jog around the field. I thought this was an impossible task for me, because I was not used to any formal exercise. I was tall and skinny, and fully capable of running, but I just could not do it. My friend and I both tried, then stopped. Tried, then stopped. We took a lower grade on the assignment and it bothered the perfectionist in me.

When I talked with my mother about it, she explained that our bodies just were not cut out for physical exercise. Our genes were just not made for real exercise. I felt better, and assumed she was right. My mom was right about many, many things, as are most moms. But on this, she was wrong. I discovered not only was I capable of exercise, I really enjoyed it! If you want true change in any area, question your assumptions. At first I felt it would be disrespect to even consider that my mom could be so wrong. I quickly learned that parents (hopefully) try their best, but no one is perfect. As a mother of three children, I hope my kids grow up to embrace life, face the world, and succeed. I also hope my children are wise enough to rise beyond my imperfections and live their best. Gain a new perspective on life as you consider some of your assumptions and reframe how you see the world around you.

2. Balanced and healthy intake: What you eat and what you drink have a huge impact on who you are and what you accomplish. Numerous studies support this assertion, including studies on juvenile offenders that show greater than twenty percent reduction (and up to fifty percent reduction) in antisocial and violent behavior when healthy foods and drinks replace junk food snacks and foods loaded with refined sugar.

Your body will be happier when you eat to live, not live to eat. Are you taking good care of your body by what you put into it, like an expensive luxury vehicle, or are you feeding it junk food and running on whatever prepackaged chemical snack you could get at the closest vending machine? Don?t treat your body like a rental car, giving it the cheapest gas and roughest treatment. It is your only body- give it the luxury treatment for the most mileage!? What are you giving your body to sustain it? Parents especially need to model this for their children. Teach them to view food as energy, and to care for their bodies as best as they can. Here is a best bet guide that I live by for maximum energy.

My main eating plan consists of keeping my blood sugar level by eating frequent, small, healthy, and balanced meals which leave me satisfied and energized to face the tasks ahead. Some tips for treating your body as royalty are as follows. Try changing just a few of these and you will see a significant change in your energy. Follow all of these suggestions and you will notice remarkable results. When I stopped my unhealthy eating I committed to an eating plan and overnight saw dramatic results. No longer did I see food as comfort or entertainment, but rather as fuel for my focus. As I grew in self-confidence I also desired to care for myself in the best way possible. With each small change, I saw both immediate and long-term benefits: and you can too!

Rather than eating two or three large meals, eat regularly, four to five times per day, and eat smaller meals. Learn to listen to your body. Do not deprive yourself of basic nutrition, but then when you are full, stop eating. If you are unsure, then HALT: are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? This classic saying I learned about food is to remind yourself to eat only when you are truly hungry. Eat balanced meals. Be sure to get enough protein, fruits, and vegetables throughout the day. Eat fiber. Limit your starchy carbohydrates, and avoid white flour (such as white bread).

Make every bite count. Find foods with nutrients that fuel your body and keep your mind alert, rather than fill it with empty calories. Eliminate refined sugar from your diet. I have gone fourteen years now without eating cake, desserts. And sugary sweets, and I do not miss them at all! Eat as natural as you can. A good rule of thumb is if a product has ingredients you cannot pronounce or do not understand, then do not eat it! If you can afford it, buy organic. Look for meats without hormones or preservatives. Avoid processed lunch meats and other foods full of nitrates: these are known to cause cancer, just like the artificial sweetener saccharin (avoid artificial sweeteners).

Eat in moderation. Do not omit fat or carbohydrates from your eating plan, but do not overload your body with them. Choose healthier fats, such as olive oil. Do not drink or smoke: care about your health and your body, and avoid these toxins. Drink plenty of water. I usually drink between 8-10 8 ounce glasses of water per day (during each of my three pregnancies, I drank up to twelve glasses per day to keep appropriately hydrated). Water is extremely important. You change the oil in your car periodically, so why not flush out the toxins in your system? Your body is crying out for water to cleanse and refresh you.

Wondering if caffeine is affecting you? Cut out your caffeine intake for a week, and see if you feel the effects of withdrawal to answer this question. Usually you will notice headaches or fatigue, among other things. Get through these first few days without it, and you will notice the feeling of a cloud lifting over you. I have spent many years without caffeine. Occasionally I will intake caffeine, but I know now how my body responds to it, so I try to avoid it.

Component #3: Emotional- Experience life

True emotional happiness comes from living a balanced life, managing stress, and living in the present, at peace with who you are and what you do.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Mahatma Gandhi.

The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances. Martha Washington.

Within this emotional component, there are four keys to making yourself happy.

1. Be honest with yourself. Get to know how you really feel inside. What bothers you and why? Do you have any unpacked baggage weighing down your life train’s emotional compartment? Unpack it today to lighten your load and gain further momentum. Are you plagued with worry about what was or what is to come? Can you focus on the moment, and notice small pleasures around you? Do you have hurt that needs to heal? Are there relationships that unsettle your spirit, that need distancing or mending? Take action today. Much of our emotional unsettling is due to selfishness. Are you being considerate, thinking of the other person’s perspective? Live as a generous person, in all you do. Be self-confident and live to be proud of who you are, the real you. Take risks and develop lasting relationships and friendships.

2. Gain perspective. It is said that perception is reality and reality is perception. Law school students often have a lesson in perception when two individuals burst through the door of their classroom during a lecture, engage in a brief altercation, and then leave. The students are then asked to record what happened on paper, which are almost always extremely varied accounts of what occurred. In one situation, for example, most agreed one person was beating up on another, but recorded that the boy was beating on the girl, when in fact, it was the other way around. Their assumptions skewed their interpretations and impressions of the event. To some degree this is true of your emotional core. Conflict, insecurity, and life’s ups and downs leave an emotional imprint.

To help you gain perspective, read any old journals you have kept, and notice what was bothering you the most in the past. How did that work itself out? Was your worry or frustration proportionate to the situation, or was it exaggerated to some degree? Like mirrors in a carnival fun house, emotions have a way of distorting the lens through which we view our circumstances. Learn from your past, step back and take an aerial view of your life’s hurdles, and consider if there is any wound or troubles that you perceive to be greater than they are.

Conversely, is there an area of hurt where you are neglecting to heal? Left untreated, deep wounds can become infected and soon spread throughout the body. Are you bleeding profusely and treating it with a small bandaid, or ignoring it altogether? Triage yourself today, and start to heal.

3. Take responsibility. You cannot control how you feel (although after you gain perspective you can control much of how you feel), but you can control how you respond. Will you numb out, losing the ability to feel the good with the bad? Will you build up your anger and resentment until you take it out on someone else? Doing this only allows those who hurt you to keep hurting you.

Enough is enough, release that hold today. Take small steps. Choose one item to change about your character and your emotional self, and start now. One small splash in a pond creates a large ripple through the current. Do you raise your voice at your children? Promise to lower it when upset instead. Experts will tell you that a soft spoken firm word commands more respect and gets faster results than a raised voice every time. Do you dredge up the past or use hurtful words when disagreeing with your spouse? Commit to having a ‘fair fight’ from now on, keeping a focus only on the present. Do you berate yourself for small mistakes, neglecting to affirm yourself? Vow to be your own best friend, and do it.

You can choose to respond to life (acting as you desire based on your processed feelings), or to react to life (letting past bottled-up hurts control your every action, including disproportionate responses and tempers). I used to hate it when my mom would say ‘use your chooser, choose to be happy’. It is not as simple as that. You have feelings you cannot deny, or they just grow. But you can choose to gain perspective, to process your feelings, to align your insides with your outside actions, and to gain peace and happiness within. Listen to the pit of your stomach, live what you believe, and be confident in your character and integrity. You can choose to pursue happiness by processing and responding, and become happier every moment for it.

4. Have an outlet, a release. To be in control and respond rather than react, give yourself an outlet, a regular release for your emotions. You have an emotional component to your core that cries out for attention. Have you ever had a noise from a car get louder and louder, the longer you ignore it? Eventually, you find out the problem when your car breaks down. Treat yourself better than this. I was struck by a poignant explanation of why we need to process our feelings and emotions by a children’s program called ‘Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Kids’. The mommy spider was explaining rain to her children who were sad because the rain stopped their game. She said that the clouds filled up with sadness and hard feelings for so long, that they got too heavy and burst- that was the rain. Then, when they get it all out, you know they are happy, because of the rainbow.

Realize that your emotions build up inside you. Endorphins are released and you feel better when your emotions have an outlet. Find a healthy one. Have you ever noticed yourself overreact to something? You are usually expressing misplaced feelings which stem from something else that is bothering you. Rather than wait until they burst at an inappropriate time, sort them out beforehand, and let it rain. For ideas on how to balance your daily activities and still make time for processing these emotions, see my article on managing stress.

Component #4: Spiritual- Fill the ‘God-shaped hole’

An episode of the Twilight Zone called the ‘Misfortune Cookie’ depicted a restaurant critic who intentionally defamed an establishment without trying a bite of food. A curse was placed on him that created an insatiable hunger for Chinese food. He ate and ate and ate but never was satisfied. His fortune cookie said he would die, and he did. His hunger was so deep and unfulfilled that he ate himself to death. Society is filled with choices of bad habits, which rob you of your health and vitality. What are you trying to consume to fill the deep void within you? Is it working? There is a core compartment of spirituality within you that can only be made happy if it is filled with the missing piece of the puzzle.

Blaise Pascal, the sixteenth century philosopher and mathematician, mentioned what we now often call the ‘God-shaped hole’ deep within each soul, crying out to be filled. “What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words, by God himself.”

Even outside of religion you can see discussions of a need for spirituality in our lives. To be truly happy, your spiritual compartment needs to be filled. It is a vast chasm, yearning to be satisfied. Like a black hole, it consumes everything in its proximity into the unending void that is your soul’s deep core. This void can be filled by God, and God alone.

When I began recovering from my eating disorder, I was told by someone to realize that there is something greater than ourselves out there, and to relinquish my perception of control over that which I cannot control. I already believed in God and knew that I drew great comfort from knowing that He was more powerful and able to sustain me and satisfy the void inside, if I let Him. What I found remarkable was the concept I heard of choosing anything I wanted as a god, even a doorknob or any image I create, so long as I looked to it to draw strength. How could I esteem as greater than myself an object that I create? It made no sense. Either I believe that there is something greater than myself, or I do not. Either God already exists, or He does not. To believe I can create a god is to believe that I am a god. What do you believe? Are you confident that you trust your beliefs, your values, and that you can draw strength from them?

If you have yet to discover what can satisfy this yearning in your spiritual core, then consider how you are attempting to fill it. Even though I believed in God, I did not trust Him to fill my deep chasm in my heart, because I was attempting to do so through my eating disorder. To make your spiritual component happy, know what you believe and who you believe in. If you are unsure, begin a fervent search for truth today. Then, find a community of encouragement to support you in your spirituality. There are local churches of all sorts in most communities, with different styles of preaching and worship to suit your worldview. Find a way to fill your emptiness and nurture the longing inside you waiting to be filled.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you are motivated to make some specific changes today, and leave here a better you. You deserve the best!

Patricia