A Better You Blog

You need a change.  Something is not right, and you feel unsettled.  This is not how life is supposed to be.  You need to start over.  But what exactly does this mean?  Some will advise you to throw out the good with the bad, the manageable with the unmanageable, in the name of a fresh start.  Too often we get rid of the uneasy and avoid the uncomfortable in the name of getting healthy or finding success.  Avoiding the difficult is not the answer, and avoiding challenge can even hinder your success. Your life is like a building.  Sometimes you need to tear down the entire structure and start over in a new location, but other times only a little remodeling is necessary.  It makes no sense to demolish a building just because it needs a little paint and patches, and it makes no sense to cut yourself off from everyone and everything you believe in and care about just because your life is not going in the right direction.  Sometimes circumstances call for a drastic change, but other times less dramatic changes can produce the confidence and motivation you need to fulfill your life purpose and live happy, healthy, successful, and free.  Here are three things to help you start over: help to identify which of the four key parts of life you need to change, help to remove common hinderances to starting over, and encouragements to just do it, whatever this means for you.  Create a better you today!

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I am spending many late nights finishing my dissertation, and I find with so much serious concentration that I look forward to playing games with my children even more during the day. Coloring with chalk and playing hide and seek are great ways to distract me from the 300 pages of academic writing I am trying to complete. As I watch my children, I am encouraged to be the best parent I can by always trying to do better. You do not have to be a perfect parent, but be perfectly motivated to do your best parenting every day.  Parenting is a huge responsibility that does not come with much training, so here are some practical ways to be a better parent, one day and one decision at a time.

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I was baffled. My clothes were fitting tighter, my feet were swelling up, I was not pregnant, I ate the same amount of food, and I lived an active lifestyle. I could not figure out why I seemed to be gaining weight, so I rationalized it away. “My clothes are shrinking, my weight is just re-distributing, or I am just retaining water.” I felt blah. After a few months of denying it, when I could no longer zip up my pants all the way, I finally faced it. I stood on the scale and saw 15 new pounds. In my frustration, I told my husband. “I do not know what is wrong with this food plan. I guess I will just buy bigger clothes.” I then laughed at my logic immediately, realizing I was blaming a reliable healthy eating plan for my weight. He knew I was low on energy from the extra pounds, and also had an answer. “Give yourself a break. You just stopped nursing a baby, maybe that is the reason.” I could not believe I forgot about that factor. When I nursed, I had to eat more for the baby. Now, I needed to go back to an amount of food for just me. I think rather than forgetting about this, I was just avoiding the truth. It was more convenient for me to ignore any possible responsibility on my part to prevent having to change what I was doing. Change. Uncomfortable, yet freeing. I grumbled a bit, consoled myself, and then made the change.

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You know you want it. You have got to have it. The surge of adrenaline heightens your senses and you can almost taste the fulfillment of your wish. You rationalize all the reasons that you will die without it. You need it, this minute. Life will never be the same again. So you get it. And for a brief moment, you live the thrill.

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Fear invades like a sudden fog, limiting your view and clouding your reasoning. When you are caught disoriented, can you find your way out? Does fear paralyze you into retreat, or do you know the way to push on? Fear of failure affects everyone. When you recognize it in your own life, you can take these 5 steps to see above it, get through it, and achieve your goals.

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What keeps you from the life you dream to live? What is it that could undermine your success and how are you defending against it? Do you seize every opportunity or live in regret? Are you fixed on your goals and headed on the right path? A SWOT analysis is used in business around the world. Now apply it to your life. See one in action, and then do this quick 15 minute exercise. You can identify any obstacles and leave with an effective plan to change your life and create a better you.

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People are talking about it. It is on the news, in documentaries, on the radio, and in person. As the awareness spreads, more people are taking charge of life, and talking about positive thinking. As the world wakes up from self-pity and despair, it recognizes the power of the mind to impact the future. There are classic books to inspire you (such as Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking), and modern works that hightlight speakers who tell the world how to effect change (such as the Law of Attraction movie and book The Secret). I get excited anytime people want to talk about creating a better life. It fits exactly with the theme of A Better You Blog.

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When you allow negative messages to invade your mind, you are creating self-fulfilling prophecies that will slow you down and turn success into failure. You react or respond to life based not on each situation you face, but on your perception of each situation. Your perception of circumstances is created in your mind. Are you a person who tends to see the glass of milk as half empty or half full?

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What really matters in your life? Do you struggle with worry? I struggled for years wondering “what if”. Then, I deliberately changed my focus and habits, and improved considerably. But a tornado showed me how to really let go, and changed my life. Here is how I learned what really matters.

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2006 was a great year for this blog. I wrote my first article in August, and since then you have given me the opportunity to encourage and motivate more people. I appreciate each of you visiting, and your willingness to share with others what inspires you. Soon after the blog began, I was interviewed for this magazine about Health, Attitude, and Determination. While it appears it may now be out of print (after hiring Christie Brinkley for the cover?), it was a great honor to be considered for circulation. Since then, I notice new blogs referencing these articles almost daily. It is exciting to see how each person is creating a better you!

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