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30 Ways to Instantly be a Better Parent

Thursday, August 16th, 2007

I am spending many late nights finishing my dissertation, and I find with so much serious concentration that I look forward to playing games with my children even more during the day. Coloring with chalk and playing hide and seek are great ways to distract me from the 300 pages of academic writing I am trying to complete. As I watch my children, I am encouraged to be the best parent I can by always trying to do better. You do not have to be a perfect parent, but be perfectly motivated to do your best parenting every day.  Parenting is a huge responsibility that does not come with much training, so here are some practical ways to be a better parent, one day and one decision at a time.

1. When you tackle a project, find a way to give your child some role in the task.

From preschool to the teenage years, children love to feel needed, and working together provides opportunity to talk and learn about how things function. My husband worked on cars with his dad since he could barely hold a hammer, and now my son does the same with his dad. Whether you are getting organized, mowing the lawn, creating a scrapbook, doing household chores, or building something on a computer, do it together. Even by simply giving your 4-year-old the socks to sort by color and fold, you are doing something great!

2. Think before you speak.

Automatically you are a better parent if you do this one. Words said in haste or impatience can leave a lasting impression on their hearts, like a footprint in cement. When you are emotional or tempted to react instead of respond, think. In most cases, waiting a few seconds or minutes to speak will only help the situation as tempers settle down on all sides.

3. Ask your children about their day, and listen with interest and support.

4. Find some genuine compliment or praise you can give them. Look for ways to reward kindness and responsibility every day.

5. Change your countenance when you make eye contact- smile!

They see you frustrated, now let them know they help add peace to the family. Knowing your day is brighter just by their presence gives them confidence and improved self-esteem.

6. Encourage talent and find one new thing to introduce to them and help to open up their world. One new skill, idea, location, career, and possibility. Do this often.

7. Next time you try to get your kids’ attention, instead of talking louder and louder, talk softer and softer.

You command more respect and attention with a stern voice than with a harsh yell. If they cannot hear you, get closer and calmly speak again.

8. Say NO, firmly but with compassion.

If you feel guilty, is it because there is no logical reason for your no (then fix this), or is it because you just feel bad for your child who is sad (and you need to go with your gut to protect them). Know you are a better parent and show your love by setting limits.

9. Say YES, and sacrifice when you had not intended to do so.

Do one more thing for your children that is extra special, even though you do not have to, and show them how important their happiness is to you. Then enjoy the reward of their excitement as you watch them smile.

10. Be consistent and transparent.

You know what consequences to expect if you are late to work, you do not pay your bills, or you commit a crime. If you are late to work you will not be thrown in jail for life. Do you ever remember feeling like your teacher or parent was administering too much punishment for the type of wrong deed? Be sure your children know what to expect, what to avoid, and can trust you to be fair and consistent in your discipline. Be sure they know you love them even if you do not love their actions, but that they still learn to take responsibility for their actions. Always be sure they are safe and not in fear of harm from your anger. Start communicating. Stick with a healthy plan, and administer it in love. As you do this, you are already a better parent. Keep it up and keep getting better.

11. Do something for yourself.

Yes, I mean you, the hard working parent who fills up the day with so much you wish you could have nap time yourself. For me, these articles help me express what is on my mind, and give me some time alone in quiet thought. What is your outlet? Take care of yourself and instantly be a better, happier, more refreshed parent.

12. Assume the best, not the worst.

Kids often feel like they are guilty until proven innocent. When they start to tell you something, before you become defensive or over-react, consider if you are only worried about your assumptions, not what they are actually saying. They will sense your distrust, and shy away from openness if it is unwarranted.

13. If trust has been broken in the past, give your child a clear roadmap to earn it back.

Children need to know you will forgive them and that it is possible to restore your confidence in them, or they may develop a “why bother” attitude. Give them a reason to get past their mistakes and turn them into strengthening lessons for a lifetime of successful living.

14. Let them see your strength in weakness- conquer your bad example.

Is there an area in your life that needs improvement? Children are perceptive, and will learn by your example if you fight to give up your bad habits. The best way to show them how to live successful and free is to live this way yourself. Everyone can strive to do better, to be better. Whether you have an addiction, you are just not taking care of your body, you procrastinate, or you need to work on your attitude during stressful times, every step you take to improve yourself will show your children that change is possible and life is full of possibilities.

15. Show up for the important times, and listen to know what these really are (do not just assume).

16. Take one more step today towards living what you believe and instantly be a better parent.

Share your faith and world view not just as something on paper, but by living it. Be who you say you are and lead by example. As a Christian, the best way I can encourage my children to embrace God and my beliefs is to show them how my relationship with God makes my everyday life better. They see how I really live, and learn more from what I do (and do not do) than what I say.

17. Eat one meal together every day as a family, away from the television and phone.

18. Children love routine, so add a new tradition.

I play checkers after school with my elementary school son. He looks forward to our time together, and I love to hear about his day as we play together. Last year I started a silly little saying when I picked up my children from preschool or school. I would get in the car, stop putting on my seatbelt, and turn to them each and say “Oh, look at that face, oh I missed you!” and reach back for a hug. This always got big smiles, and one day I forgot and started the engine and my 4-year-old said with a grin “Mommy, you forgot to look at my face!” You can add a night time routine, such as saying “I love you” or saying a prayer before going to sleep where you thank God for the thrill of your children (letting them hear your gratitude for their lives). Start a new tradition today.

19. Have a family fun time at least once a week.

Cut out something from your schedule if you have to, but find a way to play together. No criticism or work involved, just have a good time hanging together as a family.

20. Next time you wonder why your children react in a certain way, imagine the scenario through their perspective.

What would you want to see different to help lessen anxiety? Often children see adults impatient, angry, or annoyed with them. Trying to figure out why they feel as they do can help you know how to help them. Even if you cannot or will not change the circumstances, you might see how to help them better adapt to their discomfort.

21. Give your child a physical sign of affection every day.

A hug, pat on the back, or even a squeeze on the hand can show you care. Scientists show that physical affection from trusted loved ones helps reduce stress and elevate mood. Infants who are never held will die, and as you grow up you continue to receive comfort from touch.

22. When tempted to argue as adults in front of your child, stop. You just became a better parent.

It is healthy to work out minor differences in front of your kids and let them see how people solve problems, provided you are truly resolving the issues and not tearing each other down, but deeper disagreements need to be managed in private. Children of all ages internalize comments they hear, so talking about how something makes you feel can leave your child feeling responsible and taking on unnecessary stress.

23. Do not argue with your children.

You are the parent. Command respect by telling them you will gladly listen to their side, but there will be no argument.

24. Seek out humor, and laugh at the unexpected!

Are you so stressed out and tired that you almost cried just because you spilled your coke? Break the mood and laugh at how you let yourself get disproportionately frazzled. Your children will laugh too, and learn how to relieve stress. Find funny comic strips, and laugh at jokes your children tell you. Laughter is good for your body inside and out.

25. When your children approach you for attention, give it as soon as possible. 

Have a signal you can give that means just a minute, finish up your immediate task as quickly as possible, and then drop everything, look them in the eye, and give them five minutes. Whether they just want to tell you a joke, perform a puppet show, or vent about a problem with some friends, send them the message you are available and approachable, and you value your children. Let them know they are a priority.

26. Try something new and learn it together. Let your child become the teacher or help solve a problem.

27. Vary your activities and your environment. Encourage your children to go outdoors, to play indoors, and to do different things throughout the day.

28. Help your children attend to their own four core components to be happy, and lead by example yourself.

Live in balance, and help your children adjust their schedule if it is too busy or if they need to explore a new activity.

29. Read together every day, especially books about their interests.

30. Every child learns differently so discover your child’s learning style.  Encourage a love of learning, encourage dreams and goals, tell your children ”You can do it!” and believe it with them!

Posted in attitude, be yourself, business, change, christianity, confidence & self-esteem, family, goals, humor, life philosophy, marriage, parenting, people skills, personal development, play, productivity, relationships, spirituality, success, time management | 17 Comments »

Being Honest With Yourself

Thursday, June 14th, 2007

I was baffled. My clothes were fitting tighter, my feet were swelling up, I was not pregnant, I ate the same amount of food, and I lived an active lifestyle. I could not figure out why I seemed to be gaining weight, so I rationalized it away. “My clothes are shrinking, my weight is just re-distributing, or I am just retaining water.” I felt blah. After a few months of denying it, when I could no longer zip up my pants all the way, I finally faced it. I stood on the scale and saw 15 new pounds. In my frustration, I told my husband. “I do not know what is wrong with this food plan. I guess I will just buy bigger clothes.” I then laughed at my logic immediately, realizing I was blaming a reliable healthy eating plan for my weight. He knew I was low on energy from the extra pounds, and also had an answer. “Give yourself a break. You just stopped nursing a baby, maybe that is the reason.” I could not believe I forgot about that factor. When I nursed, I had to eat more for the baby. Now, I needed to go back to an amount of food for just me. I think rather than forgetting about this, I was just avoiding the truth. It was more convenient for me to ignore any possible responsibility on my part to prevent having to change what I was doing. Change. Uncomfortable, yet freeing. I grumbled a bit, consoled myself, and then made the change.

Losing the weight was worth the adjustment. I chose to be healthy, and I had to be honest to get there.

When you are not honest with yourself, something just does not feel right. You may feel disconnected, frustrated, or apathetic, and you are not sure why. Maybe you avoid being honest about little things, hide from the reality of important matters, or maybe you even avoid the truth when your life depends on it. You may feel like you are just trying to get by, and wonder when life will be fun again. Inside you feel one way, but you ignore it, rationalize it away, or avoid accepting the truth. Figure out what is driving you to deny what is, get honest with yourself, and change your life today.

Here are four reasons we avoid being honest:

1. We resist being honest with ourselves because it hurts and seems overwhelming. These create defining moments when we must decide to conquer fear and trust God for strength to push through the pain and achieve the honesty we need.

When my eating disorder was draining me of strength and hope, I had to get honest with myself despite how painful or difficult it was to face my circumstances. Psalms 51:6 says “You desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part you will make me know wisdom.” and John 8:32 says “You will know the truth and the truth will make you free.” (NASB version of the Bible). I faced the truth and dealt with the pain of my past rather than continue to stuff it down and pretend it did not exist. I moved on, determined to succeed and to be defined by only the positive events in life. Now, I am 15 years free of that hold, and God reminds me to take care of myself as best I can. Now I live to be real, and to have what I feel be in line with my actions. If I have a chip on my shoulder about something, I deal with it, because that is a part of being honest. I need to be honest in both big and little things, no matter what.

When we are hurt, we naturally avoid dealing with the pain. Our bodies react to pain by sending a message to the nerve receptors to “numb out”. Eventually they adapt and we sense the pain, signaling it is time to fix the wound. We act this way emotionally too. We initially want to deny trauma or other events occur, but to grow and thrive, we need to face the pain at the right time and with the right help. Sometimes there are deep wounds that need healing. I have fought this battle, and no longer allow this pain to rule my life. It took time to process through, to understand I was not to blame, and to heal, but I did it, and you can too, whatever your hurt. A deeper cut needs more attention than a superficial scrape. Attend to your wounds. Be honest about where you are and move past your past.

2. We avoid the truth when we are embarrassed or ashamed of our mistakes, or misfortunes, and would rather pretend they do not exist. Without getting honest and taking responsibility for our goofs, whether tragic or just slightly embarrassing, we can allow even one event to steer our life off course. Big or small, we still need to face our circumstances.

One time in college I fell for a scam phone call that promised a free trip for just a nominal “shipping” fee. I delivered my money, with the promise my prize would arrive in the mail. When I later realized my mistake, I was so embarrassed. I was supposed to be smarter than that! I was convinced by the idea of something for nothing, and I allowed myself to see only what I wanted to see. It could have cost me my entire checking account balance, but I swallowed my pride and went to the bank. I stopped payment on the check in time, and the bank said I was lucky it was not too late, because this scam robbed so many of so much. I saw the looks of the bank officials as they saw another young lady duped. I almost did not go to the bank. I rationalized why I should not worry about it and that it was too late anyway, but I felt God tugging at my spirit and my conscious would not stop bothering me until I acted. I am so glad I did fix it, embarrassment and all. In this trivial life lesson, I learned to be more guarded with my trust.

3. We resist being honest because of what the truth says about us, and the fear it changes who we are. You are not your fears, but you define yourself by them when you give in to the lies trying to beat you down. Are you replaying an event over and over again in your mind? Stop it. Process the pain yourself, or go to a friend or counselor to get it out, but find a way to move on. If you are stuck in a loop you will keep going around in circles and miss the beauty of the terrain up ahead. Get back on track for your life journey.

When you think about who you are, if you find yourself too harsh, maybe you are not being honest with yourself about your abilities, your inner strength, and your endearing qualities. Do you treat yourself like dirt? Stop it. You are valuable, and you have something to offer the world. Find out who you are, be proud of your skills, and hold your head high. Being honest is not just about the challenges. You need to be honest about your strengths, too!

4. We resist being honest because it means we have to change, and with change comes sacrifice.

There is always a fix. Many times things will not be as they were, but there are often actions you can take, and things you can do to change the effects of an action, to forgive, to restore yourself, to heal. Find a way to be more honest and embrace the change it brings.

Be honest with your finances. Are you really cutting back when needed, or are you just stressed because you do not want to change the lifestyle you desire? Finances strain relationships, and how you spend your money shows what you value. Be honest with yourself and be aware of your choices.

Be honest with your relationships. Are you treating others right, and are you treated right? Where there is pain, get healing. Where there is tension, fight your way back to peace. Start by investing your time.

Be honest about your habits. Are you managing stress or robbing your life of precious years with self-destruction? Are you acting on life as it comes, responding to change, and adapting to accomplish your goals? Get honest, get hope, and change today. You can do it!

Be honest about your priorities. Your life affects others. You have something to offer, so seize it and work for it every day. Do your actions reflect your true priorities, or are you aimlessly wandering through life? Are you blaming others or your past for your inaction today? Get focused, get ready, and take action today.

Ginny’s courage fighting her illness taught me to look for the positive despite good or bad times, to fight for what is important, and to be honest with myself. Being honest is rewarding, healing, and energizing. Think of a time when you were honest with yourself and faced the difficult or uncomfortable. How can you be more honest with yourself now? Create a better you today. You can do it!

 

Posted in a higher power, be yourself, change, christianity, confidence & self-esteem, courageous living, eating disorders, goals, influence & purpose, life philosophy, marriage, people skills, personal development, recovery, relationships, spirituality, success | 10 Comments »

Let Off Steam: 4 Types of Releases You Need to be Happy and Healthy

Friday, February 16th, 2007

How do you let off steam? Do you manage stress with a healthy outlet, or are the pressures of life building up inside you? Here are four types of releases every person needs. Find out if yours are missing, if they are holding you back, or if they are creating a happy and healthy you. 

Compartmentalize your stress, focus it, and find healthy outlets.  Here are the four types of outlets or releases you must have. As you look at each one, ask whether yours is missing, or whether it is hurting you. To make your stress work for you, and to succeed through adversity, be sure how you cope does not undermine your efforts to achieve your goals. If you see a need for change, then select a different release, determine to follow through with this commitment, and make a better you.

The four types are on a continuum, where you turn up the valve from 1 to 4, depending on how much pressure is building up inside of you, and how significant the stressors are.

Valve set at 1: Lets off a little steam, a quick, repeating, release you might use throughout the day. This is instantly accessible anywhere, and usually happens in your own mind. You use this when the busy chores or daily schedule starts to get you flustered, and you need a quick recharge of energy. It can be a quick prayer, affirming thought, or a moment to watch the birds fly or the flowers blow in the wind. Whatever will help you gain perspective and feel a moment of strength fits here. How do you blow off steam at level 1?

When I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed from deadlines or inconvenient actions of others, my first response is to do this 30 second exercise. I stop, breath, and say a prayer. I look at something I love that I can see at that moment (picture of loved ones, the clouds, …). Then I identify what thoughts are causing my reaction. Finally, I counter them in my mind. Am I feeling upset because of unexpected events? I remind myself I can adapt, figure out what is important, and get it done.

I used to feel devastated when someone criticized what I did. I was giving other people too much power over my life. Now, I am a better listener. If I start to take offense, I stop and consider what truth I can find in their comment. Then I figure out how it can make me a better person. If I still feel upset, I instantly know that I forgot the most important part: to remember my identity is not determined by the opinion of others. Whatever is not constructive is coming from their own issues, so I refuse to let it influence me. I dismiss it as their own problem. I still remember how amazing it felt the first time I really put this in practice. I no longer hold grudges (though I remember not to ask for criticism from those who only tear down).

Valve set at 2: Gives off more steam in an habitual act of letting it out. This is a way to let your body know you care. Some typical ideas are exercise, playing a video game, watching a favorite show, talking about your day with a friend or spouse, or going out to eat with some friends. A healthy and loving marriage with great communication will also provide regular times of intimacy, which is a great outlet. Do you have a regular outlet that helps you unwind, and is it constructive? Fueling an addiction hurts you and your loved ones, and only spins your life out of control. Make a conscious choice to respond to life in a healthy way, rather than to let life control you. Without a healthy outlet, you bottle up frustrations and pressures and you may find yourself overreacting to situations as you “leak” out steam in an inappropriate manner. You may take out your stress on family, friends, or yourself. If you ignore level 1, then you will feel an unbalanced need for an extended level 2 release. Wanting to relax after a typical day of work is a natural response. Needing the whole night to get over your typical day is not.

Valve set at 3: This is an indulgence. Here you have a larger release that you anticipate and allow to motivate your actions. Are you trying to achieve your goals? Do you set consequences and rewards for yourself? Indulgences are great rewards for finishing projects, changing a habit, or doing something difficult or amazing. They are also great at inspiring you to persevere. Do you have some difficult things to tackle? Get an indulgence in mind and work for the prize. You can make fun plans for the weekend, or plan a special day out at the end of the month. Go get pampered at a spa, or visit a car show. One of my regular level 2 stress releases has become a level 3 indulgence for me since having children. I love curling up with a good book and getting lost in the story. Now, it is hard to find time for reading anything that is not related to my children or my graduate studies (I am finishing up my dissertation). So, I look forward to special times when I get the chance to indulge. I set aside time every week for this entertainment as a reward for all the sleepless hours I spend working on other things.

Valve set at 4 is a spiritual transforming release, where all your pressures escape in an amazing experience. While this is one of the most important, it can be the most difficult to find. What is yours? It may be a retreat to the woods, a quiet experience with God, a nature walk, a visit to your special spot at a lake, or even a vacation to an exotic resort.

When I first started to live free of my eating disorder, I needed a tangible way to draw powerful strength whenever I felt tempted. I found the beach. I lived so close that I could drive there at any time. I went there whenever I needed to feel God’s arms around me, and to remind me that anything was possible. The thunderous boom of the ocean waves, the strong tides pulling back the sand into various patterns, and the sun glistening on the water, all suddenly and dramatically cause currents of strength to flow through me. I felt incredible, and incredibly loved. The beach reminded me how small my problems were when compared to the universe, and I relaxed as my mind instantly saw an aerial view of life. I could quickly discern what will still be important 5 or 10 years from now, and focus on my commitment to the moment. I used to need this transforming experience frequently. As I grew confident in my new habits, I could use levels 1 or 2 to get me past any temptation. Now, after 15 years of freedom, I am truly free.

There are times in life when a spiritual and transformational experience is essential. Are you burned out, uncertain of your life’s purpose, or struggling to live the way you desire? When you find it, it is something you know is there. Let it give you strength to know that in times of desperation, you have a refuge. What is your shelter from the storms of life? It is during the sad or uncertain times that people tend to start unhealthy patterns, so purpose today to triumph through any pain by deciding your plan of action now. These transforming releases are essential during times of extreme stress in your life. They may be visited quite frequently for a while, and then less often as you progress through your life’s storm. I still draw strength from the beach, and I look at beautiful sunsets whenever I get the chance, but I now live hours from the beach. My visits are mostly a reminder of how my life has changed for the better. I use the memories of past struggles to encourage me in my present.

How do you let off steam? What are your levels 1-4? Are they constructive, or destroying your success? Evaluate your coping skills, plan new ones for your future as needed, and create a better you. You can do it!

Patricia

Posted in attitude, balance, be yourself, change, christianity, confidence & self-esteem, conquering fear, courageous living, diet & health, family, goals, marriage, motivation, parenting, people skills, personal development, recovery, relationships, spirituality, success | 6 Comments »

SWOT Your Life To Success

Thursday, February 8th, 2007

What keeps you from the life you dream to live? What is it that could undermine your success and how are you defending against it? Do you seize every opportunity or live in regret? Are you fixed on your goals and headed on the right path? A SWOT analysis is used in business around the world. Now apply it to your life. See one in action, and then do this quick 15 minute exercise. You can identify any obstacles and leave with an effective plan to change your life and create a better you.

SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. The SWOT analysis started at Stanford University by Albert Humphrey, and is a strategic planning tool for corporations to evaluate and create a plan of action for success. It is effective in determining what stands in the way of achieving your goals. What stands in your way?

The first step is to have an objective in mind. What is your goal? Who are you and what is your life’s purpose? Take this sense of identity and confidence in yourself and then figure out your SWOT. It helps to write it all down on paper, or type it in the computer, so you can go back to it later. As an example, I will do my own life right now:

Objective: To fulfill my life’s purpose with my God-given abilities, and to make a positive difference in the world as I find opportunities. I want to keep my wonderful marriage healthy, to show my children unconditional love and raise them with a great foundation for success, to finish my dissertation this summer, to grow as a writer and take risks, and to continue to write what I want my children to know and to someday pass on to their children. I want to keep encouraging and motivating others with fresh ideas, and to keep setting new goals. I want to never lose my passion for life and for God. I want to enjoy every moment of life that I have, and to make choices that will keep me from living with regret. This for me is success, and I determine to succeed.

Strengths. I am confident in who I am, I live a healthy and active lifestyle, I eat right and exercise, I balance work and family pretty well (did somebody say sleep?), I am excited about life, I am good at calculus (not that I’ve used it since school), I am moved by amazing talent in others (musical, artistic, …), I have a positive and constructive thought-life (one I worked hard to cultivate), and I am a good friend.  Where I used to let hurt build up inside me, I have learned to get through and beyond the painful parts of life, and find ways it makes me stronger.

A SWOT analysis asks you how you use your strengths. Use them to create opportunities and achieve goals. After you list them, see if there are any new ways you could use your strengths.

Weaknesses. I am a reformed perfectionist who always had trouble saying no. I once said yes to organizing a banquet at church. I had no idea what I was doing. I quickly learned how to delegate, but I am lucky there were others (willing to work for free too) who knew what type of food to serve, how much to purchase for the large crowd, when to cook what, and all the decoration details that I never would have considered. It turned out great- thanks to their skill, not mine. I cringe when I think of what could have happened if those great people were not willing to step in and save me. Now I am the first one to encourage someone else to shine as the “organizer” in any catering capacity and I follow their lead when I help.

I still have to work at accepting the final product of an effort, but I meter this against my priorities and remind myself that I can make revisions or improvements later. I think my perfectionism was really a masked fear of criticism, and I now accept constructive feedback as opportunity to improve, and reject negative or irrelevant insults as someone else’s problem. I used to allow negative thoughts into my life. If you think that way, you go that way. I allow them no more. I will always be true to myself and to my promise to God to live healthy and with courage.

A SWOT analysis asks how to stop each weakness. Applied to life, figure out how to either stop or handle each weakness. I see weaknesses as the defining strokes on life’s masterpiece. They provide contrast to allow the strengths to shine, but must be deliberately controlled and worked so they do not take over the picture. I am not an artist (I am amazed by those who draw or paint) and when I try to draw an image it ends up looking nothing like what I saw. My lines take over and the picture never shows through. Luckily, in life, we are all artists.

I am determined to face my weaknesses with courage, and shape them into place so they highlight my life’s image.  I will not be defined by my weaknesses.  I appreciate the ways they remind me to draw strength from God, and encourage me to refresh and renew myself with regular quiet time. Learn to say no when you must, but do not let a weakness prevent you from achieving your goals. Do you make excuses for inaction? Stop today, and start a new course of action.

Opportunities. After my first child was born, I mentioned to my husband that I wanted to earn my Ph.D. He looked at me and said to go for it. I did. I knew the opportunity was there, and I would regret it if I let it pass by. I was not sure how to put my kids first and still do my best in classes, but that was my focus, and it worked out. I am so glad I took a chance. I am a wife, a mother, and a friend. I want to know my husband more every day as we grow together. I want to play with my children and let them see life is full of possibilities. I want to finish my degree on schedule. I want to keep writing. This blog is a tremendous opportunity for me to encourage others and feel I have given a part of myself to the world. No matter how tired or busy I am, my priorities are opportunities I will not miss.

A SWOT analysis includes listing your opportunities and exploiting or taking advantage of every chance. Are you doing this in your life?

Threats. There are internal and external threats to life. Externally I am safe, sheltered, and healthy. When I was single, I determined the qualities I looked for in a man, the qualities that would be nice to find, and the qualities I refused to be around. My desire for companionship would not overwhelm my decision to live a healthy life. I knew in time I would meet the right person, and I did. I am so grateful for all the time I had alone, where I learned I could do anything as my own person, and I am now happy to contribute this confidence in our marriage partnership. The biggest threat now for me is if I ever stopped managing stress and living to be happy, healthy, successful, and free. I will never turn from God or my purpose. If I am upset, I deal with it. If I need rest, I force myself to put my feet up. If I need strength, I find it. I conquer the threat before it can threaten me.

A SWOT analysis defends against or destroys any threat. Find your biggest threats and eliminate or conquer them before your avoidance gives them strength. You can do it!

Take your own SWOT analysis and list what strategies you need to implement today. Do you need to call someone for accountability? Do you need to take action on a plan you have put off? Are there things you can do right now? Do them, and create a better you.

Patricia

Posted in Blogroll, attitude, business, christianity, confidence & self-esteem, courageous living, family, goals, influence & purpose, life philosophy, marriage, motivation, parenting, people skills, personal development, productivity, relationships, spirituality, success, time management, wealth & income, work & career | 11 Comments »

Let It Get To You

Friday, December 22nd, 2006

The Christmas season brings more attention to giving and receiving. You may pay more attention during the holidays, but do you let it get to you all year long? Do you notice the good around you? Do you graciously receive from others, accept compliments with confidence, and appreciate random acts of kindness? Are you sensitive to the pain of others, inspired to change from the pain of life, and determined to act when it gets to you? Life has many pleasures and sorrows. It is easy to become calloused from hurt and disappointment. It is hard to do the opposite: to soften the rough places, to risk the pain and let others in, to live a full life rather than a shallow existence. Do you numb yourself to the world, or do you let it get to you? Do you receive the good given to you? Do you turn the bad around for good whenever possible? Let it get to you, the good and the bad. Let it inspire you to act, and to be a better you.

When you are paid a compliment, receive it.

When you receive an award, display it. Allow accolades to increase your confidence. You earned it!

When someone smiles, smile back. Enjoy the kindness of strangers.

If a friend listens to you, or shows you kindness, embrace it.

When you feel the familiar affection of a loved one, savor it, and appreciate it.

If someone takes a risk on you, recognize it.

If someone is vulnerable and asks for help, attend to it as you are led.

Create random acts of kindness to others. Let their happiness get to you.

When you realize you are now responsible for a life, let it get to you and inspire you.

When you hear the words “daddy” or “mommy”, or feel the unconditional love of a child you are nurturing, let it melt you.

Take a risk and let your dreams get to you. Is there a business idea you keep trying to suppress due to fear? Research it, and if it is solid, go for it. Is there someone you are afraid to ask out? Stop living in the “what if” and give it a try. Create. Strive. Be a better you.

Allow small romantic gestures to rekindle your relationship. A romantic marriage takes effort. Do you remember how even a simple hug used to feel amazing? Awaken that again.

Take a chance on someone. Let it get to you. Trust again.

When you are turned down, let it motivate you. Be determined to succeed. Rejection only means one road is closed and you are that much closer to finding the right path. Rejection has no bearing on your identity. Did you hear a harsh word from someone critical? Get over yourself. So you are not perfect. No one is. Not even the person who points out your flaws. Move on. Your purpose in life is too important to allow others to impede it.

When you realize your frustration is based on your life’s baggage from the past, let it get to you and inspire you to unpack it. Get past your past and take a chance in life again. The good and the bad await. If your life has been mostly up hill, then anticipate the wonderful coasting the hard-earned downhill will bring. It will get better. Believe.

Believe in what you cannot see. Is God speaking to you? Take a risk and listen. If God is truly God (and I believe He is), then that voice calling to you will only grow louder until you listen to it. Allow God to inspire you to stretch, to learn, and to conquer fear.

Volunteer. Whether your money, your time, your inspiration, or your encouragement, make your impact beneficial to others.

Give more than just once a year, develop a lifestyle of giving (whatever that means for you).

Listen attentively to difficult stories, and consider whether you should act.

Determine to live life happy, healthy, successful, and free. Let it get to you today. You can do it!

Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season,

Patricia

Posted in Blogroll, attitude, business, christianity, conquering fear, courageous living, eating disorders, family, goals, influence & purpose, life philosophy, marriage, motivation, parenting, people skills, personal development, productivity, recovery, relationships, spirituality, success, work & career | 6 Comments »

How To Get Along With Family

Thursday, December 14th, 2006

Will you leave your next family gathering in peace or feeling regret? Do you look forward to spending time with your loved ones, or do you wonder how you will deal with the stress it brings? Your attitude, mindset, and perspective determine the result of your visit. A negative attitude sours a warm environment. An insecure perspective invites criticism and grief. A selfish mindset attracts anger and discord. Determine to be the character you seek in your family. Share warmth where there is none. Create peace where there is strife. Be loving but stay safe. You can prepare yourself to share time together without regret, and to leave at peace with yourself and your choices. Here are ten traits to exhibit that will create a better you at the holidays or any family visit.

What are you seeking from your family? People often seek approval, acceptance, and affirmation. You may want attention, assistance, or just desire some appreciation. Each family member comes with different expectations. You need to honestly examine your own assumptions, and realize you cannot control the behavior of others. Do not expect others to behave as you desire, nor create an image of the perfect time that you expect to fulfill. Your disappointments will show in your harsh words or actions. You will be the stress that you seek to avoid.

Family dynamics are complicated. A critical word that you would normally disregard can hurt deeply if spoken from a loved one. While you usually know your family the best, you often treat each other the worst. Tension, trauma, and unresolved bitterness can surround a family gathering. What about the children who feel they are never good enough, or the parents who feels their children are ungrateful and disrespectful? What about death, betrayal, or disappointment? What about the alcoholic mother who hurt her family for years, but now wants a second chance through forgiveness and grace? How do you relieve the tension, without acting fake, around a relative who has caused pain through emotional or physical abuse? What about the family member who sexually abused another, but denies it ever happened, and causes all to take sides? It could be any issue, but pain often results in people taking sides. With this reality, how can you still get along?

I know the sadness of watching your loved ones torn apart over discord. I understand the fear and grief of pain inflicted on you by another. I know the sense of injustice when wrongs are not set right. I also know that family is still family. I control what is up to me, and no longer try to control what is up to others. I refuse to allow the pain of the past to rob me of my joy today. I find pleasure despite life’s pain. I have fought my way to a peaceful family time for my children and for myself, where I can be real, yet guarded. I am careful to think about the positive memories, and bring an upbeat attitude to our visits. I put my children first. I take away from the experience life lessons. I learn how much I have changed, and where I still need to heal. I discover new sides to loved ones, and show new sides to me too.

Whether your family times are generally peaceful, or full of stress, here are ten actions you can take to get along better.

1. Be flexible and positive.

Plan ahead, but be prepared to throw out parts of your plan. You will get along best if you are not stressed when the schedule changes. Keep a positive attitude. Going somewhere different for dinner? Fine, ask for a long scenic drive there and see new sights. Is someone starting a new tradition? Take part and add your touch to it.

2. Be protective.

Guard your children, yourself, and your heart. Hopefully your family is a warm and safe place, with just everyday tension mixed in from clashing personalities. Some families, however, have serious issues that need to be watched. Safety is important. Decide ahead of time what to do if a certain situation arises. Nobody is perfect, and some things are worth putting up with for the sake of families. Some are not. Pray for wisdom and be ready to take action if the situation warrants it. Stay out of danger.

3. Be confident.

Do you know who you are, and are you secure in your identity? Show it. If you act insecure, you will attract people waiting to tell you how to feel. If you act unsure, others will be quick to help decide for you. Family often sense your subtle emotions, so if you are concerned about others trying to ‘fix’ you, then do some personal development ahead of time. Walk into the room knowing you are the best you possible right now, and that you will continue to be better. Be confident that you have value to contribute to others, and show your certainty.

4. Be authentic.

Be true to yourself. Be real. This does not mean you have to show every emotion. You feel the emotion, decide how to respond (rather than react), and allow yourself to process the feelings later. You can compartmentalize it for now, but be sure you deal with it later.

5. Be respectful.

There is a time for everything. Your parents and loved ones are not perfect. Neither are you. A great attitude begins with a desire to benefit others, and not to get even. Proverbs 15:1 says ”A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Show respect to your elders for the good part of their roles they have played in your life.  Practice good communication skills.  Consider the feelings of others, and try to imagine how you would feel from their perspective.

6. Be forgiving.

Forgive yourself, and forgive others. Bitterness and anger will only hurt yourself. Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. To forgive does not mean to forget. Let slip from memory the little offenses that can build up, releasing them as you understand you need forgiveness too. Keep in mind the larger offenses that have taught you lessons. You know you have truly forgiven someone when you can recall what happened without feeling the anger again. Give people a second chance, but be safe. Trust is earned. Forgive, be gracious in showing your attitude of forgiveness, and guard your heart as the trust is rebuilt.

7. Be generous.

What can you give that is of value to your family? Share it. Be generous in word and deed. Show appreciation to those who have supported you. Give kind words to those closest to you. Say I love you. Be generous with your love, be generous with your time, and be generous with your money. Do not grieve yourself going into debt over a gift, but make it meaningful.

8. Be playful.

Play. Laugh. Have fun. Have a funny video or game ready to help break the tension if needed. Seek out pleasure moments and treasure them. Play reduces stress and elevates moods. Find mutual interests to enjoy.

9. Be attentive.

Are you always on the phone, computer, or PDA? When you put them away, you are telling your family what is most important. Listen to each other. Discord is often created, and is definitely increased, by misunderstanding and poor communication. Pay attention the way you want others to pay attention to you. Have you changed over the years? Remember others change too. Look for new positive traits in each other. You may be surprised.

10. Be nurturing.

Take care of your family, and take care of yourself. Remember the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Be the best you possible at the moment, and then be your own best friend.

Wishing you all warm and memorable family gatherings,

Patricia

 

Posted in attitude, balance, christianity, confidence & self-esteem, courageous living, family, influence & purpose, parenting, people skills, personal development, play, productivity, recovery, relationships, spirituality, success | 9 Comments »

How To Overcome Loneliness, During The Holidays Or Any Time

Thursday, November 9th, 2006

Is loneliness robbing you of your joy, draining you of energy and enthusiasm, or sending you to despair? Fight your way back to confidence and contentment. It is not easy, but you can do it. To overcome loneliness takes courage. You must take risks and hold on to hope with determination to disperse the fog that has settled and clear the way to a better you. There is no instant fix. It requires deliberate intention to step out of the mist. It is a process, but there is always a way out. On the other side of loneliness comes deep satisfaction, a feeling of peace and belonging that fills every hollow part and fuels you with great joy.

Feeling lonely is a common emotion. What defines you is how you respond to it. Loneliness is forced solitude, isolation, or distance. It is the felt loss of a severed intimate bond, or the feeling of having no one to share in your daily experiences. Loneliness occurs from the traumatic death of a loved one. It arises out of a separation from the familiar with a move to a new city, a new job, or a new circle of friends. It seeps in when expectations are not met in relationships, such as after a marriage or the birth of a child. Solitude can be a peaceful and satisfying part of healthy living, but when forced upon someone this isolation can quickly turn into loneliness. This is why long durations of solitary confinement results in a form of torture. Even individuals surrounded by others can still feel lonely. No matter the cause of your darkness, you can triumph through it.

Holidays are a common time of loneliness for people. I remember the first year I found myself alone. After a life of warm family celebrations, I suddenly had no place to go. There was a cloud of numbing sadness over me for a while. I prayed for strength, volunteered to serve meals to the homeless to keep busy, and joined in the celebrations of others whenever possible. But I was lonely. The forced separation from what was familiar, traditional, and special to me, was very painful. It hurt to feel the isolation from what once was. But that is how life is. And the pain cannot just be ignored. It is a wound that needs dressing, so treat it. I do not believe in self-pity, nor wallowing in feelings of hopelessness. I do believe in facing what you feel, expressing it for true healing, and refusing to allow your pain to impede your progress.

If you look down at the pit you are in, then the pit is all you will see. If you look up to see a way out, then you can reach for the sky and muster the strength to climb out. When I reflect on holidays of long ago and the people who are missed, the loss of what was will always be. But the sadness that used to overwhelm the celebration now ceases to rob me of my joy. I am excited about the happiness in my children as they experience the lights and surprises of the season, and the warmth of the family and friends that my husband and I now embrace together. Life changes, and while the past may be missed, over time, and with intentional effort and focus, your future will live up to its potential. Here are 4 steps to get the most out of life and beat loneliness.

1. Recognize why you are lonely. To some this will be obvious. A tragic death, a violent trauma, a divorce, a change in environment. For others it may not be as evident, or there may be multiple contributors to your strife. Are you allowing the loneliness forced upon you to fester and grow into a deep chasm of isolation? Have you allowed the blows of life to lessen your self image? Insecurity can undermine your connections to others and intensify loneliness. Are you isolating further out of bitterness, anger, or resentment? Unforgiveness can stew deep inside and prevent you from moving on with healthy relationships (notice I said healthy relationships, because forgiveness does not mean to put yourself in danger again, if that is your situation).

Has your loneliness been prolonged? Maybe you experienced a sudden tragedy a while ago, but have not been able to move through any part of the pain. Does it still feel as though it just occurred? There is hope. Loneliness is often caused by a feeling that no one understands you, and that you are left to experience life alone. No matter your loss or circumstances, you are never alone. “…God … comforts the downcast…” 2 Corinthians 7:6 (NIV). I will always remember the way God refueled me in my quiet times, as I gathered strength to beat the loneliness, and grew to love my solitude. While no one will ever experience your same pain exactly, those who deal with life authentically and overcome tragedy with triumph know what it is like to move past debilitating pain and into a new excitement for living. These friends can help you too. Are you numbing out to fill the gap? You are not meant to stay stuck. Overcome the loneliness of your pain and replace it with an inner fulfillment and contentment.

2. Learn the effects of your loneliness. Identify any unhealthy ways you try to fill the emptiness and get determined to beat it. Some effects of loneliness include addictions, social withdrawal, and neglecting basic needs (eating, sleeping, exercise). Feeling self-conscious, angry, defensive, or having a critical attitude, feeling disconnected, reluctant to try new things, depression, and thoughts of suicide. There are even studies which show that loneliness contributes to higher blood pressure and greater risks of heart disease. Loneliness internalizes the stress of a painful change, and allows it to squash your once positive outlook. If you give in to despair, you give up. Fight. Beat loneliness. Do it today.

3. Replace the negative mindset. Target key perceptions, beliefs, and attitudes that are trapping you into the pit of loneliness, and replace them. Do you believe that you are not allowed to re-connect to the world without dishonoring the past? Are you afraid to take risks at intimacy because you might experience loss or rejection again? Is your attitude negative, critical, or self-defeating? Attitude is amazing. It can steer you towards success or veer you off your course. Each negative belief you replace is a rung on the ladder that will reach you and allow you to climb out of the pit and onto open air. Does the thought that life will never be the same send you into despair? Guess what, you are right, it will never be the same. That thought can either depress you, or propel you to action to create a better life. Life is full of wonderful opportunities and relationships waiting for you. Be determined to make the most of the moments you have now.

Work towards the point where you can embrace both the pleasure and sorrow of life as part of your time here. The pain does not just disappear, but it does not have to define you. Imagine if you were to suddenly die today. Who is closest to you, someone you love deeply? What if they were sent into the deepest despair and became smothered in sorrow? What would you tell them if given the chance? You would probably say to think of you fondly, remember the good times, and seize life. You would wish the best for them, and want your most beloved to live and love again. Can you do this for yourself?

Take risks. Life is worth it. Know that you have something to contribute to others; you do not need to be alone. At the same time, work to be content in solitude, and to embrace it. Do not allow your unmet need for intimacy to drive you to desperate choices. Your deepest hole will never be filled by another. You must be filled first in order to contribute to a healthy relationship. I grew up sharing a room, but at the end of college and before I got married, I lived alone for 6 years. This was after I had stopped my eating disordered behavior, so I had to experience the joys and the pains of life in a real way rather than numbing out from it. And I did it living alone, starting a new business, and moving to a new state.

I knew true solitude. I enjoyed the freedom it brought, the opportunity to learn more about myself each day, and the time I took in the quietness to get to know God better. But I also remember the eerie silence on cold winter nights, the emptiness of separation from everyday companionship, and the hollow numbness of being cut off from what used to be. I started out in loneliness, but I fought my way through it and emerged content and at peace with myself. I determined that I would not enter into a relationship out of a desperate need for intimacy, but that I would seek after exactly the person I knew God designed for me. I knew that I needed healing, and I purposed to use my times of loneliness to become better, healthier, and more confident in my identity. I realized that in order to truly love another, I needed first to learn how to love myself. God inspired me to take a chance and trust Him that I could make it, and I did.

4. Take action (for others and for yourself). Imagine your life 5 years from now. Can you see happiness, contentment, and fulfillment? Are your actions today driving you towards meeting your deepest needs of intimacy? Set goals and dream your dreams. Volunteer using your giftings and abilities. Help others who need help. This gets your focus off yourself and helps you gain perspective. Remember that everyone needs to beat loneliness at some point. Connect to a new group, or re-connect where you have been isolating. Join a church or other social group and get involved.

Spend quiet time with God, and learn to listen in the silence. Are you content with who you are and where you are headed? Create a better you today. Manage stress in a healthy way (journal, talk with friends, cry it out, work on a memorial project, etc.). Learn more about who you are to grow more confident in what you have to offer the world. God plans to do incredible things through you if you are willing. Read material and listen to what will encourage you in a healthy and positive outlook. Get a pet. When I lived alone I had a cat that met me at my door when I arrived, happy to see me. This “pet therapy” is often suggested to help beat loneliness.

Are you feeling neglected in your marriage? I know I used to expect my husband to know when something was bothering me, and I was hurt when he did not ask me about it. Now after over 9 years of marriage, I finally understand he cannot read my mind, and I create my own lonely moments if I expect him to do so. He is a great friend, when I give him the chance to be.

Are you feeling lonely because your relationship has changed due to the birth of a child? Take action and fix it. Open communication is crucial for a healthy marriage, so express your need to your spouse. Busy parents still need to make time to connect with each other. When was the last time you had a conversation about something other than your children?

Write a letter to yourself explaining the depths of your loneliness and your fears of conquering it. Or at the very least, write down one sentence of what makes you the loneliest. Then seal it, and hide it away. Set a date for 6 months from now, make a small notation on your calendar, and open it then. This is an exercise that can inspire you as you see how God leads you out of loneliness, how your circumstances change, and your perception changes as you go on your journey.

You can overcome loneliness. It is just a fog settled for a time, that you can meander through and beyond. Decide to take action, change your attitude, and take risks today.

Posted in balance, change, christianity, confidence & self-esteem, conquering fear, courageous living, family, goals, influence & purpose, life philosophy, marriage, parenting, people skills, personal development, recovery, relationships, spirituality, success | 13 Comments »

15 Signs An Adult Is Stuck Thinking Or Acting Like A 3-Year-Old

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006

Maturity is not just chronological. Here are 15 signs that an adult is still stuck thinking or acting like a 3-year-old.

A 3-year-old believes:

  1. If I do not want to do something, everybody will wait until I’m ready.

  2. I will always get a do-over.

  3. If you misunderstand me it is always your fault.

  4. Fair means that everyone gets the same no matter what they do, and it is even fairer when I get more for doing less.

  5. If I break it and hide it, nobody will ever know.

  6. To play nice means doing everything my way (conflict or problems are all your fault).

  7. If I make a mess, someone else will always clean it up.

  8. If I get into trouble, somebody else did it.

  9. Whatever I want is free and I should have it now.

10. If I don’t get what I want and now, my world will end.

11. It is always my job to tell everyone when anyone does something wrong.

12. No one can or will hurt me, except the monsters under my bed.

13. Something is worth the effort until it is effort, and then I just give up.

14. If I get bored I will just take a nap.

15. Dessert is always better before the meal.

Think grown-up thoughts for maximum success and happiness in business and in life. If you ever regress into one of these 15, choose to replace your thinking with mature beliefs, and leave here a better you.

Posted in attitude, business, christianity, confidence & self-esteem, family, goals, humor, life philosophy, marriage, organization, parenting, people skills, personal development, productivity, relationships, success, wealth & income, work & career | 7 Comments »

Dream Your Dreams to Achieve Greatness and Inspire the World

Friday, September 15th, 2006

It is not selfish to dream, nor unproductive to envision, for all innovation begins with inviting imagination. Follow your deepest desires to dream of an amazing future that will propel you to your destination. Keep your train on track. The secret to the most successful people, in business and in life, is that they never lose focus, never stop reaching, never stop striving to overcome and accomplish their goals. You can too, right now.

It seems paradoxical but it is nevertheless true: you must dream beyond the imaginable to achieve success beyond the attainable. Are your visions of the future confined in a suffocating box of limitations? What is holding you back? How are you preventing yourself from success? Dream your dreams today.

Success requires initiative. If you act in business as your elementary teacher trained you, you will never advance. Were you taught to sit quietly when you do your work, only speak when spoken to, respond with expected answers, follow exact instructions without adding any creativity, and let others plan the lessons? To succeed in your personal and professional life, get up and move, be creative, take initiative, suggest new ideas, surprise yourself and others, design your own life, and envision the big plan.

In archery, there are four main components to success: have the tools (bow, arrow, strength), know your target, focus your aim, and shoot. Achieving your goals is like that.

1. Tools: Many inhibit their achievement by convincing themselves that they will never have the skills (tools) to accomplish their dreams. As a doctoral candidate, completing my dissertation for the Ph.D. degree, I can tell you a secret of education at this level: learn how to learn. After absorbing knowledge from others (professors, etc.), teach yourself whatever else you must know. All the courses I have taken have prepared me now to continue learning by self-educating. I have learned how to learn. You can too, even without the degree. If you lack a skill to accomplish your goal, if you do not know it yet, or cannot do it yet, you can learn it! You CAN do it!

2. Target: Know your goal: what are you aiming to achieve? Take your dream to the next level by writing it down on paper, and then adding details until it becomes not just a hope but a plan.

3. Aim well: Remember to keep focused. Just as in archery, where your eye gaze affects how well you shoot, if you take your eye off your goal, your aim will follow. In addition, compensate for gravity and aim high. While a short trajectory can aim straight on, a long-term goal (or more distant target) requires you to adjust your aim as you shoot.

4. Shoot: This is so simple, but most goals are never accomplished primarily because of a lack of action. Take action today. Have a determined stance to achieve greatness and give to the world an inspiration that was designed to come from you alone. God gave you a purpose in life, find it and create your own success.

With the tools for the job and the target in sight, you take aim and soar to your future. Dream big, clarify your goal, aim high, and act, and you will hit the target you know will fulfill your life’s purpose. Remember, even by dreaming your dreams, or preparing and gaining the tools, you are succeeding in your goal, because you are moving forward towards the target.

“You measure the size of the accomplishment by the obstacles you had to overcome to achieve your goals” -Booker T. Washington.

“Shoot for the moon.? Even if you miss, you will land amongst the stars” - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Dream your dreams today: they are the secret to your success and the mechanism by which you inspire others. As you DREAM, you get hope; as you HOPE, you aspire; as you ASPIRE, take aim; as you AIM, act; as you ACT, you SUCCEED; in success, you INSPIRE.

Patricia

Posted in Blogroll, a higher power, attitude, business, christianity, confidence & self-esteem, conquering fear, courageous living, goals, life philosophy, motivation, organization, people skills, personal development, productivity, spirituality, success, time management, wealth & income, work & career | 16 Comments »

A Better You, Personal Development Blog: Thank you!

Tuesday, September 12th, 2006

I want to extend my gratitude to all of you for the positive feedback this blog has received. I am honored you are choosing my contribution to be a part of your quest for a better you! Thank you to Live Consciously for including me in?the “10 best blogs on personal development”, to the generous reception from the blog carnivals, to individual blogs encouraging others to visit here, and for your trackbacks. This post is to give readers a feel for the direction of this blog and my goals and focus for spreading my message “you can do it!” to all who seek to live happy, healthy, successful, and free. Come relax, stay a while, and see where it leads.

My strategy is, rather than spend money on marketing and advertising, to post well-written, honest, and life-affirming content regularly, and this blog is spreading naturally from person to person. I am excited about its growth (see details in this updated post)!

While I want to share my stories and encouragements to everyone possible and reach as many visitors as I can, the quality of the articles and posts will always be more important than the frequency of posting. I will try to have a complete article post about every week, but some take longer to be complete: I will write them until they are what needs to be said. In between these longer articles, I will start posting some shorter “thoughts of inspiration”, for timeless encouragement and motivation for every reader. Check back often for these “you can do it!” posts. I also plan to add an email newsletter in the near future, so stay tuned!

I welcome feedback, suggestions, or a wish list of topics you would like to see me address, letting me know how I can better help you along your journey. Remember- you were designed for greatness! Napoleon Hill was right when he said: Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, he can achieve. For success, THINK IT, BELIEVE IT, and you will ACHIEVE IT!

Thank you for reading, browse a while, and I hope you leave here a better you.

Patricia

Posted in Blogroll, a higher power, attitude, balance, business, change, christianity, confidence & self-esteem, conquering fear, courageous living, family, goals, influence & purpose, life philosophy, marriage, motivation, organization, parenting, people skills, personal development, productivity, recovery, relationships, spirituality, success, time management, wealth & income, work & career | No Comments »

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